I don't want to fucking work. I do not want to commit 40 hrs plus the 10 to fucking commute and get ready every day to a fucking job. I work in an office and I am SO miserable. Do I like what the job provides? Yes. Do I like the benefits? Yes. Do I like financial stability? Yes. But I am literally going insane taking 100+ calls a day being screamed at about a companies policies that I have no fucking control over.
On top of that point systems are fucking stupid and outdated. I told my boss I was leaving today because my grandma was in the hospital and they guilt tripped me. “oh but so and so is going to be left alone tonight.” Okay? Who's fucking fault is that? Y'all fire people left and right and treat us like shit. Then they have the fucking audacity to say “no one wants to work”. I am so fucking tired of hearing them say no one wants to work instead of holding accountability.
Then they hold it over my head that I make more than most of the people there and how they raised the pay “right before you started”. I make $21 an hour in the Midwest. If it weren't for my bf living with me I'd be fucking broke. It has gotten so expensive and the job I do isn't easy whatso fucking ever.
I'm so tired. I've been here for five months and already have 3 points because I've left in the past due to my PMDD and anxiety. I can't get FMLA for a year and am treated like shit for my disabilities. I'm trying so hard to hold it together so I can have money and build a future for myself but let's be honest I'm never going to be a home owner. I'm never going to have money put away for retirement. I'm always going to be making some asshole richer.
I went to college. I did all the shit I was supposed to do. I'm fucking 30 and I'm pissed. A few years ago this pay would allow me to live lavishly. Hell, I remember making $16 an hour in 2016 with my partner and we were well off but rent, gas, and food have doubled. What the fuck is the point anymore. I just spend my checks on shit that numb my mind until Monday and it's so goddamn depressing.