A few years ago I was working as a researcher, leading a small team I had to fund with grants. I worked often 70 hours a week because I was expected to do a different full time job in addition to running my research and grants.
I was approached by a hospital to pursue a federal research grant but my boss said I wasn't allowed to spend the time on it. I didn't believe that was the real reason, but I helped the hospital find another researcher. I loved the hospital's idea and I really wanted to see it happen.
Sadly, about one month after I connected them with another researcher that person unexpectedly died. I really liked the guy and felt awful for his family.
Around that time we had an event where researchers and leaders were brought together from across the organization. I was seated at a table with my boss and several colleagues who worked with me on various projects. We were all pretty good friends… except the boss, obviously.
The subject of the research and grant by our colleague who passed away came up. For some reason my boss felt it was appropriate to tell everyone at the table how the grant my colleague had been writing was one I referred to him because I wasn't qualified and would never win the funding. Everyone else at the table looked stunned and didn't know what to say. The boss was oblivious to the insult and carried on talking. I was used to the boss saying things like that and didn't have much of a reaction to it.
One of my colleagues submitted a complaint about my boss saying that this leader was toxic. This colleague knew a couple other foul things my boss had done and included them in the letter. Whoo was it hitting the fan at that point! But, ultimately nothing was done about it except I was interviewed by the big boss.
That very week the hospital reached out asking if I would consider going to work for them. It was perfect timing in terms of my tolerance for abuse. I leaped at the offer.
I wrote that grant, after all. And I won it! I received $5 million for that hospital from the grant. And then I received many more grants and other funding for the hospital. All of that could have been done by me while I worked at my previous organization if only my boss had let me. They missed out on a total of $14 million in grants I received.
Shortly after I gave notice my boss met with me and cried. I couldn't understand her reaction at all. She was sorry for some of the things she said but didn't take responsibility for just how bad it was working for her. It was a very awkward conversation.
I had some former co-workers tell me what happened in the wake of my leaving. The boss had to hire two people to replace me. And the first person they hired after me quit very shortly after starting because they figured out it was toxic.