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Antiwork

Rude manager at work is ruining my mental health

I have a really rude manager at work and I am at my breaking point. If I even make a small mistake, they act like it’s the end of the world and freak out. I am constantly terrified of making mistakes and feel like I always need to be perfect because of this. If I am confused about a task, they also freak out and act like I’m stupid, so I am also afraid of every asking questions. They also are constantly over promising on deadlines and giving me more work than I can complete within a given time, and then freak out if I can’t finish it in time or try to rush and make mistakes. One time I asked for their help completing the work, as they are supposed to, and they threw an absolute fit. They will also act like I said things I never said, and…


I have a really rude manager at work and I am at my breaking point. If I even make a small mistake, they act like it’s the end of the world and freak out. I am constantly terrified of making mistakes and feel like I always need to be perfect because of this. If I am confused about a task, they also freak out and act like I’m stupid, so I am also afraid of every asking questions. They also are constantly over promising on deadlines and giving me more work than I can complete within a given time, and then freak out if I can’t finish it in time or try to rush and make mistakes. One time I asked for their help completing the work, as they are supposed to, and they threw an absolute fit. They will also act like I said things I never said, and then try to make me defend statements that I never made.

They’re constantly telling me that they know they have a tone with me and that I need to grow a thick skin and get used to it. If I get upset, then that’s my fault for not having a thick skin. Meanwhile, they’re always telling me I’m one of their best workers and want me on all their projects, but they still are rude to me. I am better than 99% of the other people they work with and it’s still not good enough. They claim that their “tone” is necessary to get work done, but it does the exact opposite, it makes me upset and I get less work done.

They also always tell me they need to sign off right at 5 every single day, but I need to stay on for 1-2 hours longer because we need to send stuff to the client by a certain time and I can’t say no. I can’t ever schedule personal things on weekdays because I never know when I’ll be able to get off, but they always sign off and leave at random times during the day just because they’re the manager and they can. If I did this it would be a major problem.

Every time we have a meeting scheduled they never show up and don’t tell me beforehand, sometimes they schedule meetings with me at 7 am and then when I get up early for these meetings they don’t show up. Meanwhile, if I’m 30 seconds late for a meeting they are pinging me immediately. It just shows that they don’t have any respect for my time.

They never have time to help me with the project we are both on together because they are always doing side things for other people so they’ll get a good bonus at the end of the year. Meanwhile, if I try to do the same thing they yell at me for not prioritizing their project for 40 hours a week.

And this person is not even an “actual” manager, they are just going up for promotion so they are the “acting manager”. But honestly they should not be a manger because they don’t know how to effectively manage and show respect for the people on their team.

These behaviors have been ongoing for almost a year now. At this point I just need to rant and have some validation that what this person is doing is wrong and I’m not wrong in being so frustrated and upset about it. I can’t say anything because of retaliation.

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