The last few years have royally fucked me up mentally and emotionally. Some of it was personal things that weren't related to time..just bad timing. My dad passed away a few days before Christmas last year, and i had some issues with an abusive ex where I had to get the police involved. Blackmail and death threats and shit. But on top of all that was everything we've gone through the last 2 years.
The pandemic goes without saying. I never thought I would experience what it was like to go through a literal plague.
I was sincerely scared I would experience a civil war over how the last election went. People storming the white house and shit. I was honestly scared I would see rioting where I live, especially being in a really red state.
And from the pandemic and just the crap happening with the pay inequality, I just…feel like everything I do is so pointless, that I think I developed some kind of extreme anxiety that not makes it almost impossible for me to work. Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos make more money in a day than I probably will in my entire lifetime. And, they're abusing people, keeping them in poverty, threatening to fire them if they don't work 80 hour weeks, illegally doing mass layoffs, and so many other people are doing the same where they just..have so much fucking money and are literally doing anything they want no matter how it impacts others..and I can't even afford to pay my mortgage anymore.
I have a better paying job than I've ever had in my life..but because of the inflation of everything, I can't afford to live anymore. I went from 13 an hour a few years ago and scraping by somehow, to 15 an hour now and no longer being able to afford to live. Almost any other job I find is paying less.
I've been looking for counseling/therapy and psychiatric evaluation to try and help with my mental/emotional health..and there's literally a 4 to 8 week waiting period before I can even see anyone. And the last appointment I got they didn't take my insurance like the agency who helped me find them said they did..so I couldn't see them after a 6 week wait, and had to start over. Almost no one takes the insurance we have.
I'm just..at a point where I'm choked and paralyzed with this feeling of dread and hopelessness. Days I feel frozen and I can't even go to work..my mind and muscles just seize up and I can't move to do it. I work in customer service and I get yelled at a lot for things that aren't my fault, which a ton of people deal with, but I feel like I can't handle it right now.
What's the solution? I'm scared our world and social structure is on the verge of actual collapse.
Edit: Forgot to just add in how multiple parts of the world are in civil turmoil or in war as well, with people dying for their rights and freedoms.