This is a story about going “back to work” as your man Biden put it. It sucks… it's painful, it is literally killing me every morning now that I've been subtly forced in to coming back to the office by our visionary company management.
The circus is back in town, I see zombies on the trains again… people glued to their phones at 7AM under those harsh artificial white LED train lights that just kills your mood instantly. Some are just staring through the windows in to the distance probably questioning why the fuck are they doing this again? Then the tunnel comes in and you find them staring at themselves. The guy with the shittiest techno music at the loudest possible volume setting on his headphones, you can hear it all just without bass and it sounds terrible, sounds like a broken radio next to your head.Then you realise you forgot your noise cancelling earbuds. The one capitalism invention that actually helped workers a little bit… it isolates you from the world. It literally shuts everone around you and you don't neet to listen to those two assholes doing the most stupid convo so loud at 7AM, under those harsh white LED lights. Wait a minute… I know why I forgot the noise cancelling phones… I haven't used them a single time in one year working from home! I don't even know where they are in the house!
We all spent 1h of our time already getting dressed up for the work… for the office catwalk of bullshit. We're already tired and not even close to the office yet. Choose the shirt, make sure it looks good because we are putting on an impression… on the middle management of course. Who else would give a fuck how you look like? Everyone else is there to do the shit and run home.Ladies have to do the makeup ritual… the hair… men have to shave, get that suit ready… run to the station, miss the train oh shit… now have to squeeze in to the other one!
The train comes and it's already full… surprise! Now you have to fight your way in with the laptop bag and the lunch box…people giving you that “dude it's already full” stares. But you don't give a fuck, you're on a mission to get to that “great downtown”. The place where dreams come true and where they sell those 15$ salads everyone talks about at the lunch break. So you manage to squeeze in and now you can't even move, you get that piece of handrail to hold on and just stare in to the ceiling. It's either that or that other guy's face which is now almost touching you. You know there's 5 more stations to go and everyone will try to squeeze in as you did… and they will suceed. By the time you reach the “great downtown” you are tired as fuck, sick of hugging strangers and thinking wasn't there a pandemic going on? How is this safe at all… with all of use being literally on top of each other?
I wish I can drive to work! This is going through your head as guy diving in at the last station hits you with his elbow “sorry man” … “no problem”… we are all in this together right. We're truly pathetic, bunch of cattle transported to the city and back every day. Wish I can drive but Australian CBD is $70 per day parking plus the tolls plus the gas… would be $2000 just for a month. Somehow it makes sense now to pay that much and sit in the traffic for 2h each way, it's still better than being squeezed by 80 people in a space that fits only 40. The train has the aircon barely on… it's humid and hot… you begin to sweat. Why did I shower before work when I'll be sweaty and smelly by the time I reach the great downtown?
Somebody begins to cough loud… like “I'm dying from Covid” kind of cough and everyone's eyes start rolling. Lady who's coughing tries to make an apology “I have allergies guys” … someone in the back tells her to get the fuck of the train.
We're on our way to the great down town baby!