Hey I’m pretty drunk whats a good way to tell a job I’m not showing up for my first day because the pay is too low

I'm far from sober and would like to give pizza place the courtesy that I'm not showing up for my first day. Anitwork yadyadya I've got bills to pay and can't burn bridges. Bait and switched 14/hr with a 45 minute commute for a pizza shift leader job