Hi everyone.
As I'm writing this, I'm so overwhelmed and emotional about my job. I left my previous job for this current one and I was promised career growth, training, etc. but instead I'm left with none of those things and have since spiraled into a depressive state. I've attempted to leave to another company but have no such luck. It seems that I cannot escape my current job. I feel trapped.
My current role is very technical involving reactors and reactor systems. I was not properly trained for this because the person who previously worked in this role claimed to also not be very knowledgeable and was not trained by anyone qualified either. So as you can imagine, the knowledge is diluted with every turnover. The current turnover rate for my role is 50% within the last year. It seems no one has stuck around long enough. The supervisors have no idea how to run the reactor units nor do they seem to care. I've been told repeatedly when I've asked for help to “figure it out.” I feel like I have been beaten down by the supervisors at work who offer no support and tell me how all of these things are my responsibility, yet I was never trained on it. I NEED to get out of this and I don't know how. It's gotten to the point where I've resorted to try and make a living on social media platforms but we all know that takes a while to build a following.
Every morning I have to physically drag myself out of bed to face this job just to wait for the day to end so I can rush home and crawl into bed again. I feel like a failure. I constantly question if I made the right career choice. I know this isn't good for my mental/physical health but I need this job to pay the bills/student loans. I'm fighting back tears at work everyday and even now as I'm typing this. I've spent the better part of this year trying to find another job without luck. I can't keep doing this but idk what else to do.