No one I talk to understands me. I've talked to therapists, family members, coworkers, no one seems to care that I'm losing it in my minimum wage job. I job hop a lot, trying to find something I can tolerate and get paid better and every job I've had is just another trap. I'm not suicidal, but I've expressed the feeling to a therapist that I'm too afraid of dying, but still wish I wasn't alive. My family is very conservative and never supported my art or helped me get good careers in art. Meanwhile, my cousin is fully supported by my family because they play baseball and travel a lot and are going to a very good college in another state with better opportunities. I hate that my parents went to one of their tournaments on my birthday when I have no friends and I'm alone most of the time and live paycheck to paycheck. I don't make them happy, my cousins and nieces do. My parents supported my uncle and his daughter's dreams but told me to just get a job that pays. I hate watching people who are happy, have money,and are doing what they love while I waste away in poverty and a shitty, broken down apartment, scrubbing toilets or retail just to keep from living in my car or at home, God forbid, with them. They think I can live just fine on minimum wage and that I should stop complaining because they had to work jobs they hated most of their lives. I'm tired of working, but have no money or time to go to school, so I'm trapped in job purgatory until I die. I'll never make enough to retire anyway, so I don't understand why I try so hard to make money. There's no point in this economy to care anymore. I just wish I didn't have to work at all, but there's no way out.