I know all the facts. I'm underpaid and overworked. My boss wouldn't give a crap if I ended up in the hospital and would just be angry I wasn't at work. If I died, they would replace me in a heartbeat. And yet when I have to call out, because I'm sick or just feeling horrible then I feel very guilty and like I should be dragging myself into work anyway. It's a very annoying reaction. I only call out when I feel bad, never because I'm faking it just want a day off, I don't get drunk and call out but I still feel guilty about being legitimately sick. Gaslighting is one hell of a drug.