6 hours before shift
Conversation as follows:
Me: Hello [Blank]
Feeling very sick today and was wondering if it was okay if I didn't come in tonight. I can pick up an extra day next week or whatever I can to make up for the absence.
Boss: That's quick, second week. No need to cover anything you aren't trained.
Me: Well I came in sick last night so [Trainer] can vouch for it. Thanks.
Boss: Just remember, pattern of reliability issues is the number one reason we cut loss new hires.
Me: I don't appreciate the passive aggressive response.
Boss: Nothing passive aggressive about facts. Typically someone calling in on their third shift will definitely wash out. I've been doing this over twenty years, we see the same pattern over and over. Hope you feel better.
Me: Oh wow, if that's the way you talk to employees I can see why you can't keep anyone. How professional. Good luck finding somebody else.
Fuck me for being genuinely sick I guess.