It's been a relief finding Youtube videos around the theme: “I do not dream of labor” a while back and now surfing this subreddit as well. Although most posts seem to be around dealing with managers and legal stuff, which is no doubt useful but I haven't found one on this particular topic that interests me.
I have a really hard time working, it seems to take so much energy from me that eventually I crumble and quit. My best work experience was ironically delivering fast-food for a popular app in my country. As I did not need much money living at my parents', I just needed enough to not dig into my savings each months. I chose my hours, was not confined in a concrete block, had noone to deal with, picked up the food, delivered it, job done.
Here's a quote that expresses the way I feel about work and that really made me feel less alone and crazy when I found it, by Charles Bukowski.
“I always resented all the years, the hours, the minutes I gave them as a working stiff, it actually hurt my head, my insides, it made me dizzy and a bit crazy… I couldn’t understand the murdering of my years yet my fellow workers gave no signs of agony, many of them even seemed satisfied, and seeing them that way drove me almost as crazy as the dull and senseless work. The workers submitted. The work pounded them to nothingness, they were scooped-out and thrown away. I resented each minute, every minute as it was mutilated and nothing relieved the monotonous ever-structure. I considered suicide. I drank away my few leisure hours. I worked for decades… I knew that I was dying. Something in me said, go ahead, die, sleep, become them, accept. Then something else in me said, no, save the tiniest bit. It needn’t be much, just a spark. A spark can set a whole forest on fire. Just a spark. Save it. I think I did. I’m glad I did. What a lucky god damned thing.”
I am currently still living at my parents' and am now on welfare, I have no idea what the future looks like for me as I can't imagine myself working and will eventually have to get my own place. Which finally brings me to the topic of isolation. If there are people in similar situations, how do you deal with it? It seems making an income is the basic requirement for social life: finding a partner, getting a home, having a family, feeling comfortable socially. Basically not being an outcast, I guess this is one of the prices to pay by refusing/not being able to work?