Context: Back in January I'd had enough. I quit. I began to work on what I ACTUALLY want to do. Spent about four months on it.
Then, a few days ago, I started a new job because it's fucking HARD to keep the achievability of the dream alive when all you can think about is 'where's the next rent payment coming from?'
I have decided, after four days, that I'm going to quit again. FOUR DAYS back and I'm already:
- depressed,
- feeling like my life is headed nowhere,
- socially anxious,
- [insert any possible symptom here, because they're all plausible where the workplace is concerned.]
The trainer is being passive aggressive to me because I fold my arms when I listen, saying 'I can't be sure if you're listening if your arms are folded.' WHAT?!
It's already clear there's a culture of misogyny, that the trainer doesn't challenge, homophobia and general backward thinking.
I'm already being warned that almost EVERYBODY you have to speak to to get a job done – is an asshole.
My colleagues are ALREADY playing bullshit politics.
I checked out four months ago and I just can't bring myself to check back in. I'm done with this now. I was done with it four months ago. Thank you for reminding me why I've got to get the hell out of here.
I have NO IDEA where my next rent payment is coming from – but it'll come. One thing about Capitalism – it abuses you when you're in it and it blackmails you to stay. Fuck it, I'm done being abused.
If you know what you want, are working towards it, it's just gonna take some time to get there – you're my favourite fucking person. You'll do it, of course you will. Don't let their bullshit cloud your vision.
Keep going.