To set the stage, my last job fired me because of “accidents” (for those who drive a truck, or know how a semi truck works, y'all know airline breaks happen occasionally. Moreso with poorly maintained tractors.) Prior to that, I was in the toxic environment hell of auto sales for 9 years. And just before that, was working at Best Buy, where you must devote your life to the Almighty Yellow Tag and Bleed Blue or get written up/fired. At Best Buy, I was originally denied leave to go to my grandmothers funeral because we were 'shorthanded', with a supervisor going on vacation and an employee with seniority needing off to go to some concert or some other bullshit. To keep it short, I took off anyway, got written up, then the GM of the store tore the write up in half and tossed it.
Cut to this year, 2022. I started out the year with COVID after one week, was out for 8 days or so. Fast forward to March, my uncle died (literally at my cousins wedding, and on my birthday), so I missed work for the funeral/just being there with family. And then got COVID AGAIN. So of course I felt like I was “gaming the system” and felt guilty that I was taking this much time off, paid.
Cut to the manager of the store, and the owner (small franchised business with 4 locations), both telling me to stop thinking I'm useless, and that shit happens. And the first thing out of the owners mouth when I got back was “How are you feeling?”
I still don't know how to feel.