Throwaway account for reasons…
I’m just so tired of working. I have nothing left in me. A bit of back story; I’m a receptionist and at my previous place of employment, I was beat down almost every single day by the manager. When she wasn’t there, she would plaster my desk with sticky notes the day before. My mental health was declining and I wasn’t the best employee because I called in sick a lot. Near the end of working there, my anxiety blew up and I was one breakdown away from checking myself into the mental hospital. I couldn’t eat, sleep or do anything but cry and panic. I stayed with my mom who took me to the hospital twice and I was put on another med. I started to go to therapy but the workplace was so toxic that one time I left in the middle of my shift to go the therapy and I was fired. Honestly it was a blessing in disguise.
I started working at a new place, same line of work and it was good for the first few months. Everyone was fine with me but now I just feel like a burden. I can’t do anything right, and even when I’m not the person who made the mistake I’m blamed. They nitpick literally everything I do and I feel like I apologize over 100 times in an 8 hour shift. I’m so beaten down and exhausted I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I’m constantly thinking about what mistakes I made this time during the weekend.
I’m just so anxious and depressed and I find it extremely hard to stay motivated. I don’t want to work anymore but the cost of living is insane. I spend almost all of my time working to barely be able to afford food and a roof over my head.
I really just needed to vent. This sub has really made me feel like I’m not alone.
Thank you guys.