TL;DR: This is really dumb, but I'm not sure how to call out. I have PTO and Sick leave available, but a lot is going on and my workplace seems pretty toxic. My manager will bug me until I tell him what I'm doing and make me try to justify why I'm taking off. There's a lot going on at my job right now and technically I shouldn't be calling out. But I *really* need this personal day. One of my sons has medical issues, but I hate crying wolf. I could say I have a stomach bug, but he may want to see a doctor's note. Just plain calling out won't work because of the reasons I stated.
So, my manager requires 2 weeks in advance for time off requests and even then, you may not get it. I was going to request off sometime this week so that I could take care of some personal things but so many things happened that prevented me from doing so.
First, my manager was exposed to covid and eventually caught it. He was out for a week. He brought it to work and I got it and took it home to my kids, so I was out for a week and a half. During this time, 2 people quit.
We work in a mailroom and as a team so it's hard for people to call out. This is where I feel it is a little toxic. My manager will casually talk about how he never misses work and comes sick and stick it out. One of the people who quit, left because he guilt-tripped her into working through back pain, which possibly led to more problems. The other one quit because he over delegates and then sits back and watches us work. (He would call us workers and say since he is the manager he only has to help out if necessary). She got tired of that and quit.
Between having covid and the mandatory OT that I had to put in since we were so short, I didn't have time for the personal things that I had to do. So I *really* need to call out tomorrow. HR said that I could take a mental day – which is the only thing I can think of. Because I'm not sick, this isn't vacation and I know he is going to make a big deal about me coming in. He literally called me every day to see if my symptoms were gone when I was recovering from covid.
This is where my dilemma comes in. There's only us two running the mailroom. There is a new guy or two coming in that will need to be trained. At the same time, there are a few important things going on at the firm where we work. (side note: That firm contracts out the mailroom work to my company. This would possibly be easier if we were a part of the actual firm!) Possibly some floaters can come in from other sites, but I am unsure if they can. Yes, I can just call in and say that I can't come in, but then he'll be calling me asking me why I'm not coming and if I'm sure that I can't make it. or say “Remember, XXX is happening today and you know I'm by myself”, etc.
I remember one time he gaslit (I think this is the correct term) me into thinking it was my fault that he didn't get a lunch one day. It was us two again and we made a lunch schedule that should keep us on track. Out of the blue, he told me that I had the option to take a short lunch (keyword: option). I chose not to but changed my mind because I felt bad and wanted to help out with the work. He worked through lunch and then decided to blame me for him missing lunch because. Our company makes us jump through hoops to get OT approved and he didn't think that he could get paid for that hour. It wasn't my fault because there was literally nothing stopping him from going to lunch, especially since I came back early.