First of all, I know they have a business to run, and I saw some of this coming (them firing me) but all it has done is remind me that I'm doing the right thing in taking this time to try to recover.
I have had and health issues, which has led to some time off since last September. Prior to that I was never off sick, I come in on time and I have always been reliable. Due to being unwell and having time off I started to struggle financially. On top of that I started to recognise signs of depression in myself – something I have battled with since I was 13. I tried to take care of myself as best as I could, while things got busier at work and started to get more demanding than ever. I'm not going to blame work for what happened but it certainly hasn't helped. There has been a lot of burn out and they are struggling to retain new starters.
During thr first year of lockdown they let 80% of the production staff go. Things started to pick up again and orders were getting bigger than they had ever had, but the managers were saying they couldn't afford more staff. This was after four people were promoted into managerial roles and given huge pay increases (during a time where staff were being told the company was possibly going to close) Eventually things got too much and they tried to take on some agency staff. Most of the new staff stopped coming in, with one or two staying. There is far too much work that none of us can physically make or get out of the door. They are only offering minimum wage, one unpaid break and no other benefits. They have most staff on rolling 3 month contracts – myself included.
The managing director has been emotionally manipulating a lot of the people who have been there for years, constantly stating that they are losing money and no profit is being made, telling people they should be grateful they are in a job. Sadly most of these staff have put up with so much abuse over the years and given they much time to the place that they all think it's normal and they don't see any other options for themselves.
The only reason I have stayed is due to how great my colleagues are. The pressure has just been too much. We cannot keep up with what they are demanding from us. A lot of the work comes to us before it goes out of the door and there are so many mistakes by the time it gets to us, which are well out of our control, yet we get the shit for it.
I started to notice I really wasn't coping with things mentally (in life in general) and after a bad weekend I tried to take my own life. I felt that ashamed and low that I didn't seek hospital treatment, just cried and tried to recover for a couple of days and booked to see my GP. my GP sent me to get checked over and made me several other appointments, as well as signing me off from work for two months. She was very concerned and recommended I don't go back to work early and take this time to level out as best as I can, while I try to figure some things out and get help. She even asked if it was worth going back to my job. I knew at this point I was most likely going to be fired over my absence anyway.
I informed work and they asked for a photo of my fit note. I sent that over and that was the last I heard from them until today. One of the managers went around telling everybody I had had a nervous breakdown, told some staff that some people just don't want to work, and even went as far as to say there was no such thing as depression when he was younger and that we all have issues.
Today I received a letter, that in three sentences basically told me that I'm fired once I go back, without actually telling me that I'm fired. They are trying to scare me into going back a month early, so they can use me for June and then finish me at the end of June, when my 3 month contract is up again.
June is one of the busiest months of the year and then it goes quiet. They usually lay off the agency staff and then start to panic hire again towards Christmas. Right now they apparently have too many absences to be able to cope with. This letter wasn't just informing me off my unacceptable amount of days of, it was an attempt to get me to panic and plead with them not to fire me. The managing director sent it (they don't have HR) and he has dismissively referred to my current time off as 'upset.'
They think I'm going to panic and cry and plead with them not to fire me, like right now I'm going to rush in and put the company before my own wellbeing.
This is a small company, who acknowledge they are are small company but also try to act like they don't bring in much. It's complete bullshit. When the national living wage went up some people asked if we were going to see any wage increases. The operations manager pulled us all in for reviews, where he acted shocked we weren't grateful for the minimum wage, and informed us that they had just given us a 6.6% increase. Like they had done it and it wasn't a legal requirement.
This is long winded, I know. I'm just seeing more clearly each day the levels of abuse that companies will gladly put you through and I'm seeing just how much so many of us take it.