My favorite was my old friend who said the following:
- I'm lazy. I don't want to deal with being an owner. I'm totally fine with the owner making more because they have to deal with being an owner. In socialism, I would have to be a more active participant in the world and that just sounds like too much effort. That sounds shitty. I can be as lazy as I want in capitalism.
My big problem with his argument is that he comes from a place of privilege. His parents bought him his own house, which he lives in while paying minimal rent to his own family. He hasn't had a landlord in his life. He hasn't had to buy his own home.
He has no needs that he can't meet, regardless of his wages. He works a minimum-wage part-time job but he makes enough for food and a little entertainment. As far as he's concerned, capitalism treated him great because capitalism treated his parents great and his family can enjoy the fruits of that victory.
What I find interesting is now we have someone who is being exploited as a minimum wage worker who feels like capitalism did him a giant favour by letting him get away with working an “easy” job. He doesn't see himself as being exploited – he sees himself in a cushy position where he's made it.
But that means he's ultimately among the oppressor class – he is against a system that prevents him from winning easily from his parents' capitalist victories. That's his argument against capitalism: “Then I can't have it as easy due to getting lucky”. It's a selfish argument that's no better than what a business owner would say.
What are your favorite, rant-worthy or terribly-awful pro-capitalism arguments?