started working for a very big company before covid. I started as a part time worker and over the almost 3 years I've been there, I've moved up 3 times and am full time. Since I've been there, I've taken my job super seriously. I am a hard worker because i truly care, and I'm in a customer facing role and all I've ever cared about was giving good customer service experiences. Since I've started, pretty much everyone I have worked with have made things difficult at one time or another. If it wasn't my coworkers not pulling their weight, it was the management never being around to support. Then I moved into management, and I was reprimanded for telling people to do their jobs. I just wanted to do my job right and needed support, but was told my anxiety was getting to people. I feel like people just tell people what they want to hear there, and cater to the lazy people. It's all so fake and strange, really. Never have I worked in a place where people are rewarded when they speak up about something they see as unfair and the person just trying to get things done is shit on. Well, not all the time though. The person directly above me doesn't do their job ever, takes time off all the time, and never says thank you. Asks me to help on my days off, and generally gaslights me constantly when I call him out. He also thinks that he does way more than everyone else and basically skates on by all the time because he's tight with the boss. The boss has confided in me a lot that he thinks that this person doesn't pull his weight, but I basically had a panic attack at work last week when I was asked to come in on my day off and said a lot of shit. Basically, everyone denied everything I was saying and I just decided I was done. Done with the fake, done with the guilt tripping when I'm off work, done with the denying. Throughout the rest of the week I continued to work hard and do my job, show up early and be nice to everyone and was snapped at and ignored multiple times by my superiors. Tried to walk out but was asked to stay a few more days to get through the weekend, the things they have done for me are held over my head (which has been a good amount, but i feel like I earned it and I didnt walk into any of these situations thinking this would be the outcome. A month ago I thought i wanted to work inyo upper management!). I ask to just talk to someone, and no one has time to talk to me. I just want to say why im feeling this way, explain my side…not go out so poorly and come up with a game plan. Now I'm given the weekend and next week off to decide what I want to do. We'll I can't go back now! Everything is tainted. I think they secretly want me gone too even though I think there is a lot of unhappiness and stress there.
I don't think I'm cut out to be anyone's manager, although I tried. Corporate has unrealistic expectations of everyone there. My job has invaded my home life so I'm unable to be a good family member and parent. I just don't see this getting better. Have pto I'd like to cash out, and a 401k. Really bitter. Really sad. I feel like my entire life was consumed by my job and it just is over. Sure things were good occasionally but I feel like even if I moved up it would be so much worse! Has anyone else been in my shoes? What did you do?