Hi there,
Having a rough time at work. Monetarily doing pretty well, but the last few months have been soul-sucking to say the least. This may be more of a “shitty job/shitty boss” post but I'm feeling pretty darn anti-work lately.
I'm the only person specializing in a specific tech/analysis field for a small organization that lives way out in a rural area of my state. Moved here after my grad program to try to get some experience and make my money go far. Could only do a little remote buyt I still had to move in order to make it into the office somewhat regularly. I have a 1-hour commute.
I had a rough job search when I was looking, and had to look far out from a very tech-dominated area to ease up on the competition, found a job doing work that fit my values – but the sense of desperation from them popped a few red flags. I needed the work and experience though so I went for it.
I did okay for a bit. Learned a lot, saved some money. But it soon came apparent that I was filling a position where the scope of my job just got larger and larger. And this year my job and boss are driving me out, and I'm planning on leaving. My job doesn't offer benefits, has poor organization (time off is guaranteed in more of a “you ask for it, you're likely to get it” – but nothing, not even Federal holidays, is set in stone). And I hate that uncertainty and lack of structure. My boss expects everyone to be fired up in the same way as they are, to the point where I've been calling them a crusader (not to their face) because their fervor is bordering on religious and fanatic. I feel as if I'm doing the work of three people and I never feel like I can finish anything because I'm pulled off to another project. My boss is always having emotional outbursts that I don't know how to deal with.
We've had a few important employees leave recently, which has left us all with a crunch. My boss is practically begging me not to leave or “they'll die” or “have to shut the organization down” or to give them 6 months notice to adequately train a replacement. I usually just nod and say “okay” and don't go into more detail than that.
This feeling sucks. I've done my best to put things in a way that the next hire will not be as lost as I was joining on, but we're going to be hard-pressed to find anyone to fill my role. Out in a rural area. With no benefits. And a poorly organized schedule and structure. And an overbearing boss that doesn't know how to limit their vision, but also resists marginal suggestions for improvement if it dares cut something that isn't critical to their idea of the organization's purpose.
I'm taking a week off at the end of the month and planning to formally inform them if my planned departure and set the things in motion for me to be leaving in August. But it makes me super nervous. Ibdont want to be the deathblow for this org! How much of this is not my responsibility to try to fix? I've tried to implement systems and suggestions that would improve the reliability of our work but am never able to make it happen due to time limitations or resistance from my boss.
Working stinks.