This development happened over the better part of a decade. I'm sorry, it's very long. I've had this on my chest for quite a while.
I started out in a field that has good job security, but it's long shifts, shitty hours, and – for the most part – dismal pay. Why would anybody do this you ask? Well it's a necessity. People have to have it, so somebody's got to do it. However, most people that get into this field fall into it because of the allure of job security and good benefits – at least that is my experience.
I started out in this field, which is municipal work, after leaving the private sector of big box stores and high end hospitality. Life was getting stable and that was good as I was starting a family, but the job I took for stability was $10/h starting out as a trainee where I had fully paid benefits for me but nothing for my family unless I wanted to pay out 1/3 of a months gross wages. I had – and still do – to work nights, weekends, and holidays. I think you get the point now, it's a job. It sucked, it wasn't some dream job that was going to generate anything more than some intrinsic value. I do feel good that my job protects public health, but it's not something I'm really excited to tell people I do. It's just a job meant to provide for my family. Having that mentality though has kind of saved me.
I stayed at my first job in this field for nearly 5 years and my boss was highly manipulative. He was easy to talk to though and you could have a reasonably enjoyable conversation with him, but you better not tell him too much as he was going to find a way to use it against you. He regularly would get his boss – our superintendent – worked up to fits of rage by deflecting issues that he bore responsibility for onto us for the simple fact he enjoyed “watching him get worked up.” His words.
It is putting it gently that I regularly had to defuse situations that never needed to be issues anyway by trudging through intensive questioning and unreasonable suspicion to prevent the whole work group from imploding. I journaled about it nearly daily for years on the advice of that same Superintendent. I know I'm not going into great detail, but you get it my boss was a highly toxic manager that basically harassed us for his amusement.
This man did everything from manipulate us to start drama, to zeroing out overtime to keep the city manager happy, to check out my wife's ass in front of me, to saying racist and bigoted things all while failing to perform his duties on several occasions. It was exhausting to work with him. I was thrilled the day I was offered a supervisory position in another town and was damn near glowing with joy when I dropped my resignation letter on his desk. He was surprised and tried his best to reason with me to stay and constantly asked me to tell him where I was going. I refrained as I didn't want him running his mouth to anyone because he had been in the field for a long time.
When I left, I never felt so relieved. I felt a weight lifted, but honestly I didn't feel at peace. I wanted to write a letter to my former superintendent – anonymously – to tell him of the manipulation and harassment we dealt with regularly and that he was being deceived constantly for sheer amusement. But, I knew he'd know it was from me, so I waited thinking I'll do it eventually – but I never did. I really wanted to get it of my chest. However, it did get a little easier to bear though as I learned over my career there's tons of men like him in my field. It's loaded with them actually. So much so, I decided to leave the field. However, I'd built myself up in the field making over double what I started at and I didn't have a degree, so I wasn't finding anything I could support my family with.
After about a year, I reapplied to a few positions in my field and the one I wanted the most required that I give only immediate supervisory references. My heart sank at the thought of my first boss' authority over me getting this job. Luckily though, I never sent that letter and I left on good terms. Fortunately for me, he spoke with my boss for 45 minutes and gave me a glowing review. Honestly, I was shocked. I even called him up to tell him thank you. His reply was, “Yea, I wanted to give you the best shot and opportunity even though you weren't very nice to me much.” I just went silent. What do you say to that? This is a 45ish year old man playing a manipulative sensitive card.
Anyway, I strictly regard my hesitation to burn that bridge as the reason I am where I am today. Currently, I'm making $32/h more than I started at. My benefits are amazingly cheap – for the WHOLE FAMILY – thank God. I get a better pension, and I'm represented.
I'm sorry for the length, but if you read it I'm greatly appreciative. This has been on my chest for nearly 3 years.
Tl;Dr Ten years ago I started out in a field that I'm not crazy about. I started out with a manipulative and harassing boss that I've always wanted to set the record straight on and burn that bridge to the ground, but I didn't. I held back and not burning that bridge is the reason I'm making such good money now. Only burn those bridges if you're sure it'll never bite you back. Be happy to leave, but don't burn that bridge unless you're beyond sure it's ok to do so.