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Antiwork

Circular Logic

-Background- So – I got this job in Feb 2020, a month before the pandemic shut everything down. I asked lots of questions during the first two weeks, because I wanted to be good at my job. The people who were supposed to be training me were fairly unresponsive – it took them an average of 9 hours before they'd answer any of my IMs or emails (and this was while we were in office). Then in March 2020, we went to a WFH model, with corporate stressing that this was temporary. My department apparently was not mentally equipped to train someone via Zoom, even though this is a desk job that is pretty much all about spreadsheets and administrative work. It was like being shoved into a boat with the oars taken away – no one on my team reached out to train or anything, and my questions were…


-Background-
So – I got this job in Feb 2020, a month before the pandemic shut everything down. I asked lots of questions during the first two weeks, because I wanted to be good at my job. The people who were supposed to be training me were fairly unresponsive – it took them an average of 9 hours before they'd answer any of my IMs or emails (and this was while we were in office).
Then in March 2020, we went to a WFH model, with corporate stressing that this was temporary. My department apparently was not mentally equipped to train someone via Zoom, even though this is a desk job that is pretty much all about spreadsheets and administrative work.
It was like being shoved into a boat with the oars taken away – no one on my team reached out to train or anything, and my questions were largely ignored. I was essentially left to fend for myself and create tasks to justify my existence. And no, I don't understand why they hired someone if they just didn't care. It's been kind of awful, honestly.
So, for the past two years, I ended up partnering with someone from another team and working with them on their compliance related tasks. I helped build new processes and streamline some stuff, and the person I partnered with taught me a lot about their job and introduced me to lots of upper management leadership.

-Current Situation-
Now that people know my name and are reaching out for various tasks, my supervisor was not able to ignore the praise I am getting. During my annual review this year, she gave me Exceeds Expectations, BUT she said said this: “Getting Exceeds Expectations is not common. Only one person from our team each year gets Exceeds Expectations, so next year, you will not be getting that rating – even if you feel like you earned it or went above and beyond. It just wouldn't be fair to your other teammates for you to get it multiple years in a row. Because you got it this year, someone else in the team missed out. We just want to be fair.”
I thought that was pretty bogus. This is a large company. My sister works in another department, and she's been able to get Exceeds Expectations multiple years in a row, and it's never been a case of “only one team member can get that rating.” However, I kept my mouth shut and simply thanked my supervisor.
Today, I found out that one of my previous teammates was able to move into a great, high-paying position in another department within the company. This teammate was missing some credentials that I actually have. It made me realize that I'm just letting myself stagnate in my current team. I'd really like to be able to use my education and credentials for meaningful work with better pay, instead of feeling like I'm an afterthought, left out at sea. Honestly, for the past 2 years I have been worrying about being valuable to the team, instead of looking for better opportunities. All the silence I've been getting from my team has made me question my abilities – this was really a wake-up call. So I approached my supervisor and told her that I was interested in pursuing a promotion to a higher level. I told her that I understood if budget was a concern for the team, but that I wanted to make my intentions known.
She told me this: “I absolutely support your desire to grow, and we want to see you get the promotion you want. However, in order to get a promotion in the company, you have to have Exceeds Expectations as your rating on your annual review at least two years in a row.”

So, let me get this right… No one on my team can get Exceeds Expectations multiple years in a row, but I have to get Exceeds Expectations multiple years in a row in order to qualify for a promotion?

I'm so done.

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