Spent some hours listening to the Antiwork talk on Wednesday and wanted to chime in, but anxiety got the better of me. Now, I'll open up about my story if its okay to.
I've been stuck in the home health care field since 2014. I was 22, and had just been fired back to back from two jobs. From late 2013 until January 2014, I worked at a call center doing customer service for an electric company. It was horrible and soul sucking. Before that, from 2012 till the call center, I worked at a grocery store. Started bagging then had to get the hell out from the front end, so I took whatever opportunity presented itself, which was the meat market in the back of the store.
I started making the usual $7.25 an hr. Then was given (from what I remember) a 40 cent raise. So I was making just under $8 an hour. I was closing shift, which meant cleanup shift and final organization, etc. But I was also cutting meat and restocking,and making everything perfect for the cheese and lunch meat section. (The Not-deli section)
I was doing work that needed two people, but my work friend at the time would leave at 7pm I believe. Leaving me with everything else for the next 2 and a half hours. Thats how management scheduled us. I couldn't have stayed as long as I did without his help. Anyhow, I eventually created a routine that helped me scrape by. I was overworked, underpaid, and overwhelmed, like most people. They refused to hire a second closer person.
I have bad joints, inherited from my mother I believe, and the cold temperature worked against that. My muscles would spasm from the cold, like Charlie-horse but for places I've never had that before. I also developed a stomach blockage one time. My coworkers thought I was gonna throw up. I sat for a while, drank water, and finished the shift. After that, I knew it was time to leave. Ended up getting the job at the call center. In The end, I was finally getting paid $8 an hour to train as a full fledged daytime meat cutter, and working 12 hour shifts, doing everything in the market. It took its toll, and I left. But I could never tell my bosses the real reason why I was leaving, because of fear of seeming weak.
The call center was ridiculous. We got 15 minutes the entire morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon for break time.. which was ALSO restroom time. We got in trouble for going over that time. Lunch was only 30 minutes. Because I am a human who needs to poop, I eventually started eating lunch in the restroom sometimes because there is just simply NOT enough time to do that, and eat separately.
Because of my irregularity, I developed another stomach blockage and got tired of dealing with it all. I put in my two weeks notice and was gonna work them. Until I found out from an out of town coworker that we were in fact supposed to offer to send customers to the next level of service agents to solve their issues we couldnt. We had a false rule, where we were not allowed to offer to escalate the call to the next level of help, UNTIL the customer requested it. So we were supposed to give the customer the run around and go in circles until they asked speak to an account manager (or whatever that department was called). This “broke my camel's back” and after I got off the call with my fellow agent from the other branch, I walked out.
The in between jobs were short lived, restraunt, then janitor at a mall. Both were terrible and They fired me for dumb reasons. This post wont be about that.
So, I got a job working with disabled men in the home health care field. It found me, i didn't find it. Someone on Facebook reached out and asked if I wanted the job, and explained what it was so I went for it.
So long story short, I started at $8 an hour and was with the company until finally quitting this year in March. I was making $8.25/hr. I gave them the rest of my 20s and they gave me a 25 cent raise. But the lifestyle is what I stayed for, not the money or lack thereof. I got so stuck in the lifestyle of working nights, napping on the shift, then catching up on sleep in the afternoon, and having all the free time in the daytime.
At the end, the straw that broke me was when new management tried to move a sexual aggressor into the home with the other residents. I fought it and the area manager didnt listen. She downplayed that situation. She refused to listen to my concerns or the guys. Other staff fought it too but of course she didnt care. There were two shut down homes they could've moved him to by himself. But they probably couldnt “spare the employees” as we were constantly understaffed.
In the end, I put my two weeks in, and only when the aggressors' father called to tell them not to move him, did they listen. The top manager didnt listen to anyone else. I was not valued, and it showed. They also didnt care that I was leaving. We were so understaffed, they needed me, but even then, I was replaceable. After all the sleep I lost, after becoming prediabetic, developing a wierd nerve damage in my shoulder, after I carried three of their group homes across my tenure there. None of it mattered to this new manager. She was a witch, and tried to gaslight me into putting on a positive face for the men I worked with and new for years, to try and quell their concerns about the new guy moving in. He was still under investigation for the assault attempts he made to multiple residents at other homes.
After I left, I spent months of this year jobless. I said I wouldnt return to this field but I did, out of desperation. Couldnt find anything else and what i did apply to, they rejected me over and over again.
The company I left finally raised their starting pay to $9.50/hr.
I found this other company and am now making $10 an hour.. barely getting by but its better than working for crooks who straight up dont care about their own residents or staff. The management here is better, at least on the surface. There's still miscommunication abound, but they at least try to care.
I still think I should be getting $13 an hour and my house manager should be getting $15. But idk if that will happen. I'm barely home, (thank god I'm single at the moment) and it feels like I'm always at work. Its the easiest job I've ever done and that's why I've stuck with this type of work for almost ten years.
The only way out it seems, is for me to push myself to write my books, or pursue my other creative projects and hope that those things will eventually start a career, but I have no idea about the ins and outs of doing all that. I see everyone on youtube and other places living from their creativity but I just dont know how to get in on that bandwagon. (Have been doing some research for years and still dont have a full understanding)
In the meantime, I am also awaiting my follow up appointment with a psych dr to figure out what's “wrong with me”. I use quotes cause I dont actually know if anything is, but I finally pursued an evaluation after living with issues my whole life.
Back in May, I signed up for help at the work force center to get help finding a job and figuring out whats going on with my mental health. (They cant help place me at a job until I get medically qualified from some kind of disability.) They sent me to a Dr, which took months to get seen. Now its been more months since then, and I just got a call from the work force saying that the Dr had retired! So now I must wait to see a new Dr for that follow up to get any kind of clarity on my “unknown personality disorder”.
I spend every shift wondering if I'll make a mistake and 'when the shoe is gonna drop' and if I'll end up getting fired or quitting soon. But I'm still here, I stick with it cause whats the alternative? Working some kind of customer service, where I'll go crazy? I dunno… I'm just tired of feeling and being stuck. I wanna move on with life.
Just take it day by day. Its all anyone can do.
Anyway thats enough of my vent.
Have a good week!