Context:
I work at a restaurant chain in the US, and I’m a server. This is my first serving job, and I got hired just this past March. In mid June I took about 3 weeks off for a trip I went on, and returned around the end of that month, seeing that we had a new cook, at least new on the evening shifts. For the purposes of this retelling, I’ll dub him Jason. Cool, awesome, new person to work with, no big deal. I don’t know him personally, I’ve never seen him before in my life other than where I work.
One day I’m talking with a fellow server/grill cook, and she informs me that Jason has been really mean to her, telling her things like “don’t push my trays ever again,” and “why don’t you come help me with this instead of standing around,” among other things I can’t particularly recall. I take this into account, and just acknowledge it. I’d never actually witnessed him being rude or mean to anyone at the time. That same day incident 1 happens.
Incident 1:
I was running food for another server, and didn’t fully check the ticket before I ran with it. This part is my fault as I should’ve caught the mistake sooner and avoided the issue, but I didn’t. The guest/recipient of the food lets me know he had ordered a different side than what was on the plate; I return to the kitchen. This was directly after another occurrence where Jason, the cook on the line, plated a “RB” instead of a “PR” (using these random letters as the dish names will expose the restaurant in question), and we had to run back and tell him. No big deal, just a mistake. Anyway, I go back with the plate mentioned earlier and say “this side was supposed to be a __, not a __,”. He snaps at me “Well let me see the ticket,” as if he doesn’t believe me. I took down and away, raising my eyebrows and sort of pressing my lips together in reaction to the way he’s just asked me for the ticket, and pass it through the window. He then snaps at me “don’t give me attitude!”, crumples the ticket up, and aggressively shoves the corrected plate back at me through the window. A manager in training witnessed this and was like “hey hey, calm down,” in response to him. I didn’t say anything. I tell a manager.
Incident 2:
Not too long after the “don’t give me attitude,” situation, this happens. A different server comes to the back and is sort of irritated, asking the back “hey guys when are we gonna get these [weekday specials] out, it’s been like 28 minutes and they’re still not done. what’s going on?!” Jason starts yelling at her, cussing, and at this point I’ve experienced his anger before, and now I’m seeing someone else go through it, and I’m done. During his tirade I exclaim, “don’t be mean!” and he turns to me and says “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO GET INTO THIS?! SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!” And I yell back “YOURE MEAN TO EVERYONE,” and at that point there’s other people in the window telling both of us to “stop stop stop” and I just walk away. I tell a manger. Im not sure if this can be called incident 3, but here’s what happened next:
A couple hours goes by, and I’m doing my sidework, which happens to be right in front of the window. He starts talking about me, passively, right in front me, to another cook.
“Hey, [fellow cook] do you ever just get into other people’s business that has nothing to do with you?” He says. He says a couple more things along those same lines, in that same way, and I just stand there, sort of looking at everyone else around me. I don’t say anything. I didn’t tell anyone higher up.
The last, and worst incident:
A couple days go by, and I’m back at work. I check back at a table to make sure everything is ok, and my guest informs me her [random side] is too salty, and she’d prefer something else, a different [random side]. Alrighty perfect, I take the bowl and go back to the kitchen, dreading having to talk to Jason.
“Hey my table said these were too salty, can I get a side of [different thing],” At this point I’m looking down because I’m nervous, and I’m pretty sure he’s facing a different direction.
“Well it’s all gonna be salty because it’s from the same batch,” He returns
“Oh, no, a side of [thing] instead of this,” I tilt the bowl towards him to show him what I’m talking about. I admit I should have just said the side’s name to make it clearer, but I didn’t, and I realize that is my mistake here. I don’t remember what he starts saying, but it’s in a really aggressive hostile tone. Being completely done with this, I ask, in a normal tone, “Can you just be nice?” and he blows up. “THIS ISNT HIGH SCHOOL, [I don’t even remember the middle part of this tirade], DUMB BITCH,”. I gasp, and immediately walk away to tell a manager what just happened. As I’m explaining the situation, he comes up behind me, I jump out of being startled, and starts yelling. “SHES JUST LOOKING FOR ATTENTION, STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM, SHES ALWAYS PLAYING THE VICTIM! SHES INSTIGATING ME! SHE GETS INTO CONVERSATIONS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER! THIS IS HER FIRST JOB AND SHE WALKS AROUND LIKE SHE OWNS THE PLACE! SHE HAS AN ATTITUDE WITH ALL THE COOKS” among other horrible things that just don’t make any sense. I’d never had an issue with any other cook.This isn’t even my first job, I don’t know where he got that from. My manager asks, “did you call her a dumb bitch?”
“WELL YEAH BECAUSE [whatever excuse he came up with, I don’t even remember],”
I end up breaking down in the office and crying, explaining this situation to multiple managers, and I end up leaving work at that point, early, an hour and a half into my shift.
I used to love my job, and I had a lot of fun with everyone I worked with. I’ve never had an issue with any other servers or cooks, it was always a good time and I was never afraid to ask a cook for something simple. I understand that I am a really sensitive person emotionally, and being yelled at sucks for me, but calling someone a dumb bitch just seems too far.
What is the appropriate action management should take? What should I do?