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Antiwork

A verbal agreement apparently means nothing

My wife has worked at the same Fortune 500 company for nearly 20 years. It was her first job out of college. I can't say the experience has been completely horrible. Compared to a lot of people, she's been very well-compensated, but it has been difficult at times when they've asked her to make a move to another part of the country, or even on one occasion overseas for 2 years, and we've had to be apart. But the last experience was just too much. I've been a medical resident for the last 4 years, and there are not even any residency programs in areas where her company had locations, so we compromised and live about two hours apart. Because of my crazy hours and her work schedule, we can only see each other on the weekends. And we have kids, which complicates things. So, I applied for fellowships last…


My wife has worked at the same Fortune 500 company for nearly 20 years. It was her first job out of college. I can't say the experience has been completely horrible. Compared to a lot of people, she's been very well-compensated, but it has been difficult at times when they've asked her to make a move to another part of the country, or even on one occasion overseas for 2 years, and we've had to be apart.

But the last experience was just too much. I've been a medical resident for the last 4 years, and there are not even any residency programs in areas where her company had locations, so we compromised and live about two hours apart. Because of my crazy hours and her work schedule, we can only see each other on the weekends. And we have kids, which complicates things.

So, I applied for fellowships last year, with the intention that we would stay permanently wherever I ended up. She had multiple discussions with her boss about this. There were no fellowships in my field available nearby where she worked currently, so she and I discussed possible locations for me to apply to, which she also discussed with her boss along with HR. And I also eventually chose my fellowship based upon places where her boss said would be “workable” locations.

Now, even though we have tried to be upfront and, perhaps, overly accommodating, her boss comes back a month ago and says, 'Sorry, we were over-ruled by the VP.' So even though she had multiple assurances from her boss and HR that this would work out and we could live together again, the VP just decides that instead they should move halfway across the country. So, instead of a 2-hour drive, we would now be separated by a 4-hour flight.

Obviously, she is looking for a new job, and we're planning to live together whether she has a job or not. But it's just mind-blowing to me how little regard executive and upper management have for employees who have given up so much.

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