I'm in my early 30s and I've been a mess since my teenage years. Been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD simply through a series of questions. How valid can this be?
Anyway, my main problem is having to work. I can get by with my problems OK when I don't have to work. But when I have to have a job and work, life becomes intolerable.
I have not been diagnosed with ADHD (haven't gone for a diagnosis). I have been diagnosed with low testosterone, 300. I don't know, and at this point, don't care what the source of my problem is (depression, ADHD, or something else). I just need to become numb to be able to work and save a lot of money to retire ASAP (this in my view, is my only salvation).
I was prescribed anxiety medication years ago, and most recently escitalopram (antidepressant). I never took any. I've tried to fix it on my own, through exercise, diet, etc. But it hasn't worked, and I'm more desperate than ever. I keep quitting jobs and I need money, or I'm going to end up homeless again, or worse.
What is the problem? If working/jobs give me “depression” symptoms, then working is the disease, isn't it? Why would I take a medication just so I can engage in the disease? Sort of rhetorical question.
I'm ready to take some kind of medication now, because life is closing its doors on me. I cannot go on like this. But, I don't want to take medication forever. Just for a time, to numb me so I can perform at whatever job I have and save enough money ASAP and retire to a cheap country.
Out of the 3 (antidepressants, adderall, TrT), which has the least side-effects, least dependency, easiest to discontinue after some time? I'd think for my purposes, ADHD medication would be best, since I need medication to be OK with working (hopefully).
What would you recommend?
Thank you