Before I go into my rant I want to say I understand I’m in a privileged position. I’m also thankful that I can try to do the stuff I’ve always dreamed of, I apply to these jobs cuz unfortunately these are the companies doing the cool things and the stuff I’ve always wanted to do. But I’m feeling this meme very much right now.
I recently made it to the final (next?) Interview at Blue Origin. I like to call this stage the “Engineering Gauntlet” it’s essentially 4hrs of black couch behavior. A panel of randoms pick you apart.
You’ll speak about the experience you’ve had bending over and pleasuring others, how much you enjoyed being fucked and what cool new tricks you learned from them.
But wait that’s the first hour.. after that 1 on 1 with 6 more people.. 30 mins each. Behavioral questions, “cultural fit” questions. gag
I know there’s a certain level of “tap dancing” you have to do in job interviews. However I’ve never received such detailed instructions on how to suck a dick.
Not only am I giving you at least 4hrs of my time (if I choose to go through with this) but I also need to:
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put together a presentation. Not super surprising again I’ve done these before. I’ve done some amazing projects I’m happy to show off
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watch a 50min video of Jeffy Boy talking. It’s worth the effort because mentioning it will tickle the right balls and they’ll be impressed you knew that nut busting combo.
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talk dirty to him. Tell him why you want to work for big baby blue. Explain every detail that led you to this point, why those colleges why, this job, why leave that job. (Again not crazy pretty standard)
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DONT TALK ABOUT MONEY! oh all those answers before were cuz of money? You’re just a little money grubbing whore? No. when asked say you’ll consider, be shy, be coy.
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be self confident, have a back bone! But not about your salary, don’t ask, don’t even be confident and give a number. Give a range, or say you’ll want something close to what you make now.. you could do better, but you don’t know how much Better. But be confident in your choices, your decision!
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look at me when you talk to me, virtually or other wise I demand eye contact. (I’m imagining the South Park episode with the cable guys Hahaha)
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be available all the time anytime. Can’t start asap? Tell me you’ll be there on weekends or after hours to train and get ahead (I’m assuming all this is unpaid)
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praise me. Thank me. Send everyone letters! show enthusiasm
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don’t get cocky, the job is never yours, you should be worried about pleasing me, who knows maybe sending that thank you know was the difference
I have a BS in engineering with a masters and a PhD. I know that these process are part of a “necessary evil” but sometimes it goes too far. My med student friend jokes it’s like when she’s applying and they act like she should be saving lives in her free time too.
I would have never applied to this job if I didn’t think I’d enjoy the work. I don’t understand why presenting my accomplishments and technical skills aren’t enough? I sometimes feel like the “performance” is the real deal breaker. Wtf is culture fit anyway.
Why do I have to eat and breathe you? Why do I have to act shy about salary when I see your earnings reports? (Yea I think we all know why)
I got all those degrees because I enjoy learning, and more so because I’m hyped to make space exploration affordable, and environmental. I have big brain (maybe naive) thought of the good this can do. I’m very passionate about my field, and I really do yearn for a job like this one. This is all capped off for me PoC because yet again, im sitting here tap dancing for a bunch of white dudes (I know my ancestors are turning /s) Hopefully I can keep climbing and change some things. I’m just burnt out from this shit.
Anyway thanks for coming to my rant and random steak of consciousness about this Crap. Y’all have a lovely weekend! Smoke it if you got it haha
Cheers!