Not sure if this is the right place for this but I am having an exceptionally hard night. I can feel my mental health worsening.
I'm (23f) very discouraged about gestures around life lol. My husband (27m) and I have done everything right- just bought a house last year, have 2 nice cars, excellent credit, own a few pets, and a good savings to start. Husband is waiting to start a new job and my job is essentially recession proof. We don't have any medical problems. We have pretty solid insurance. I have a 401k and some other shit put away in the stock market. We are doing everything “right” and we are truly fortunate and privileged for everything that we have.
Despite this, I am feeling increasingly discouraged. I feel like i've sold out. We both want to expand our family but I'm just so worried. I don't know if this makes sense but the thought of popping out a kid and then going to work within the next 6 weeks makes me so depressed. The thought that we would miss some of our child's milestones makes me depressed. Whenever I tell people about this, they just say “yeah thats life” which like i fucking get but still doesnt make it less shitty.
We are both tired. We have both been working since we were legally allowed to. We both just want to rest. There's days where i wish that i could somehow fund our current lifestyle but just have us at home with our family. Whenever I say something alluding to this perpetual tiredness, people tell me to take a vacation, “take a few days to recharge”, etc. My husband has worked in the service industry and his body is already starting to feel the toll. It's just hard for me to believe that this is all our lives are – working 50 hours a week with 2 days of playing catch up.
I don't want to perpetually live my life living for vacation. I've ignored it for a while because I thought maybe all the material accomplishments would ease the perpetual feeling of failure. Now it just feels…like a cover.
Sorry. Don't know if this makes sense but figured someone here would maybe understand? Lol.