This is just something thats been weighing heavy on me the past month, and nicely rounds out some of the stuff we talk about. I wasn't sure where to post this, I was considering r/lostgeneration or r/LateStageCapitalism. I hope this story is welcome here, I'll probably delete later.
I just got fired from my job. I worked there for 1.5 years. My longest run at any company was 7 years, but the pandemic, and SEVERAL family crises (including 2 deaths) have made it incredibly difficult to maintain a stable job. I haven't done myself any favors. I didn't finish my degree and have allowed my mental & emotional health to hold me back. But I was happy at this last place. It was a weird mix of warehouse work and customer service, driving all across my state, delivering medical equipment to private homes as well as facilities. I loved the physical activity of loading up the trucks and lugging equipment around. I loved having my team of 20 year old knuckleheads, and took my part on the team very seriously working as hard as I could to support my fellow workers. I loved the fact that even my humble part of the healthcare chain, was helping families going through the hardest part of their lives. I could be a comforting ear, offer solutions and give them one more person to trust. Many of them were going through the same thing I had been through, a family member dying of cancer. I honestly love working hard and feeling valuable to my community. I took pride that I worked hard, and I made so many meaningful connections.
I had to move to another state to be reunited with my wife, she had a job elsewhere and I've been caring for family. My senior most manager told me that he would approve a new job posting remote CSR, something we haven't done before. I was so excited. This would help me stay with the job that I loved and I'd be able to grow and get a good raise. I trained for 3 months to become an office worker, even going so far as to rewrite their training guides. I've got 30 pages set aside for myself, which could easily be edited to train new employees. When we finally got to our new place, I worked a total of 3 weeks remote before being told that my position was being restructured, and that I would either have to move back, or be terminated.
I already have a new job, entry level set up. So I only had to suffer 3 weeks of job hunting. But honestly this has crushed me. I don't think my spouse even really understands how hurt I am. I've stayed up late, working 16 hour shifts on several occasions, not for the management, but because I cared about my team mates and the families we served. This has felt like a huge blow. I'm sure I will move past it.
I realize that this is probably a side effect of personalizing a connection to my employment. Old values of “hard work” that make me easier prey for employers to exploit. But it fucking kills me to know that to a greater degree, Capitalism has influenced this. Because of the profit motive, it straight up doesn't make sense to keep me. Why keep a remote worker who costs you out of state business fees, when you can hire some 18 year old who will burn out after a year. Because of these influences, some of my customers straight up didn't have the same care as their peers, and however rare, there were days where my hands were tied and I was kept from serving my community as thoroughly as I wanted. Most of all it kills me that no matter how hard I worked and how dedicated I was, a fucking delivery driver isn't worth more than 17-19$. If I didn't have to worry about clawing my way through college debt and old credit cards, I honestly could enjoy doing this job for a while.
I don't know what I was hoping to get from this. Pain shared is pain divided I guess. It'll be okay. I hope all of you will be okay too. Thank you.