I simply hate the idea of working but as many of us I have no choice. Knowing where I work now, all day sitting at a desk doing administrative stuff, my inner child would be so mad and sad.
(I'm from Europe so I guess some rules are different since a lot of users here are from US)
I know I'm kind of privileged because I have no experience at all (22 woman) and they want to give me a permanent contact to a job I have not event related studies to (went to art school, it's a reception agent post for agricultural population). I need this job and I know they need me, they have a lot of retirements and a lack of applications.
But I can't stop thinking of the way I want to quite already. I know I won't stay for years and I don't want to (even if I have no interest in telling my superiors, they don't want to hear that). Plus, they're asking me to remove my nose piercing even if the mask is still mandatory for us and I don't understand why because no one can see it and I'm conscious this is a really minor inconvenient but I don't like that. I don't like the fact that I have to watch the way I dress. What if I plane to have a new piercing/tattoo/hair style I can't hide?
They told me that if they had seen it during the interview (was wearing a mask) they would have asked me if I was ready to remove it.
They know they're aren't allowed to ask for me to stop wearing this or that. They're reasons aren't even right : agricultural people are close minded (not their words but that's what they mean) and as I “represent the image of the company”, I should not shock them. But the way I look does not represent the way I work.
I did not hear a lot of good from my colleagues about the superior and I also noticed it. She tracks us and always wants to show us how to do our work even when she doesn't know right, but she's always right huh. She makes us do things that isn't mentioned in our contract and we don't have a lot of choices, it forces us to work more than we would some days. People from other offices always ask us if she's there to know if they have to avoid her. We don't talk a lot to each other when she's there since she thinks we don't talk about work and only work. Breaks seem to be frowned upon. Fortunately she's not there every day, only 2 or 3 days a week so we're fine.
We have monthly review about our work with diagrams and all kind of percentages and this disturb me, it makes me feel like I am just a number for other people's profit (I know I am).
Despite that, I'm fine with the job, my colleagues are nice with me. It's way far from my dream job but I can andle it one or two years.
The question is, how do I survive long enough without loosing who I am? Is their any tips on how I can tell how I feel about rules to my hierarchy without incurring their wrath? I don't want to be scared to say when something is bothering me. I don't want to work more than I am paid. I don't want to feel trapped.