I'm fairly certain my employment at [temporarily redacted] is going to end soon. No, it isn't because I didn't “get it” while employed here, I'm actually a dependable worker with nearly 20 years of relevant industry experience in my chosen line of work. I have every intention of working until I'm fired, though. (What that work entails, I don't know. I'm not doing anything I was hired to work on) I've been focusing that pent-up frustration on going out and actively exploring job opportunities from other businesses in the area or remotely.
I suck at interviewing
TL;DR – Are there any peer groups out there that help people with the interview process? Coaching? Workshops? This is a skill I am going to need to triage and tend to right away if I'm going to keep drawing a paycheck.
My Thursday afternoon epiphany follows.
Interviewing isn't my strong suit. I realized that yesterday between one in-person and one virtual later in the day. However, when I do get it right, I manage to pull off some successful meetings and eventually land a job offer. I'm socially awkward and have been most of my life. Somewhere in my youth I fell into the “I'm shy” routine and never managed to successfully break free from the mental shackles I've retreated into. My wife sums up my plight as follows:
You will never win over most people with your personality. Rather, it will be your work ethic that earns their respect.
This doesn't help a guy who has 20 years of industry experience but no college degree. Many (if not most) doors are closed because I come “over-experienced” and at a higher rate of pay than the average applicant. If a company can overlook the lack of a degree and zeroes in on my experience, I at least get a phone interview. If I am relaxed enough on the phone and advertise my strengths well, I make it to the in-person or virtual interview stage. But then it stops…
Yesterday, I had an early morning interview with a big time manufacturer in the area. This company was very accommodating, which gave me hope it would work out in the end. Knowing I had a job now that I wasn't in love with, the hiring managers booked the meeting at 7:00 AM. We had all the time in the world to talk shop and see if I was a good fit. I bombed the interview.
I had several things working against me. Not excusing myself here, but little things added to my anxiety. First, I was traveling through an unfamiliar part of downtown. I gave myself another 20 minutes in commute time to make sure I wasn't “rushed” and could take the safest route to the employer. I still had 15 minutes to spare before the interview by the time I arrived, but I realized I forgot to bring a facemask. I had to pay for parking, and the company would not reimburse it. When your bank account balance is less than $20 and you have under a quarter tank of gas, every cent matters. (I managed to get my direct deposit for this pay period now, so I'm back in the black)
Back to the interview, my anxiety grew exponentially once I made it to the lobby. There were about a dozen contractors waiting for a company representative to guide them to a job site, and they all managed to congregate by the front door. There was little room for me to shuffle in, and I clamed up at the two feet of breathing room between me and the next person visiting the site. I was given an area to sit down and wait in, but I got all of 30 seconds before the hiring manager showed up. Nice guy, but he walked entirely too fast for me. I'm extremely overweight and trying to navigate narrow stairwells and keep pace with a taller gentlemen with a lean build. His brisk pace felt like running to me, and I started to get shortness of breath after climbing multiple flights of stairs. Before someone mentions it, I was wearing the face mask the guard provided and it was fogging up my glasses. I removed my glasses and ran to catch up to the hiring manager. But by then I was out of breath. (Note to self, get in shape)
I elected to keep my glasses off for the interview because while I was already slowing down my breathing, my glasses were still fogging up from the ill-fitting face mask. I didn't need another visual cue going out that I was uncomfortable. The questions I was asked here were more than fair – I actually liked them. Those half-dozen talking points were relevant to the role and I commented as such. So as I adjusted the face mask to fit my chubby face, slow my breathing down to a regular pace, I answered questions as best I could despite not being able to lock in and pick up on the non-verbal ques from my interviewers. Without my glasses, I'm blind. What I couldn't see or hear, I started to internalize. The interview seemed to be moving at a faster pace than it started. It was almost like the interviewers were…agitated.
After about 45 minutes, they looked keen to wrap this up and send me out on my way. Well, what about more of what they do at the site? A plant tour? Nope, that agenda I was given was not adhered to at all. My desire to know more about the company, the department, and the managers I would be working with didn't matter at that point. We said our goodbyes and the senior manager escorted me out. I guess he could sense my disappointment that I didn't get to see their operation, so he stopped and showed me some equipment on the way out and explained more of their process. But it was brief.
I had an interview over Zoom with another company last night. I thought without climbing multiple flights of stairs, fogging up my glasses through a face mask, and not having to run to a conference room, this would go better. I'm fairly certain that I bombed this as well. I believe I overcompensated for the morning interview. I spoke entirely too long and monopolized the time I had with the interviewer. I didn't even realize it until I was told how much time we had left. Holy shit, I messed up.
Because I won't get a second chance at a first impression, I'm all but assured to not get either role. (Even if I'm well qualified based upon experience alone) I have to do better in the interview rounds – whether in-person or over Zoom. My comment from the other day saying I'll “ace interviews” aged like milk. (I hear there is a subreddit for that sort of thing) I ain't walking out of offices with job offers. I'll be fortunate to get auto-responders stating the company is going in another direction.