I have a strong aversion to yelling and being yelled at. In my younger years when I was first made supervisor, a kid got hurt because staff wasn’t doing their job and it was on my shift. I completely lost my shit and yelled at the staff that they let this kid get hurt. Afterwards, I felt so much regret for handling the situation that way. I worked really hard to never lose my cool like that again. And for 15 years, I have never yelled at my team or employees again. I’m a middle manager. I put myself between my bosses and my staff and if something goes wrong- I take it on the chin. But I have my limits and I think I am teaching them. Right now, I have a new boss that has yelled at me twice. The first time it happened was due to circumstances that my boss 100% controlled and it was not my teams fault. After he cooled off, I told him his reaction was inappropriate. He swore he would never do it again. Fast forward to yesterday, he did it again. This time the boss was about 50% at fault and one of my team members was 50% at fault. But the issue could be easily fixed, with zero cost. So my solution was to identify what steps we needed to take to fix it and move on. My boss yelled at me about things that weren’t even problems and basically had an unhinged hissy fit. I wanted to quit on the spot, but decided not to make a decision in the middle of it.
I’m at this point in my career where I cannot move jobs easily- either I will have to take on projects I hate or take a 50% pay cut. I’m paid well here (for my industry) and a pay cut would mean I would have to move because I wouldn’t be able to afford even a studio apartment. I don’t want to move. I LOVE where I live. I live frugally, there’s no place to trim. Salaries in my industry are typically poverty wages and I luckily landed one that pays slightly above living wage in my area. So quitting would make my life incredibly difficult.
I don’t know a way forward. Sometimes I think being yelled at is a given in any job. Sometimes I think this is just a toxic trait and a deal breaker- something to quit over so you don’t put up with being treated like trash.
I have empathy that managers can make mistakes. I’ve done it myself, I know what it’s like to lose it and take it out on people and regret it. But my boss is now doing this on repeat.
I am looking for thoughts- is this just a fact of working and I need to suck it up because it’s going to happen everywhere? Or is this a small percentage of work places and I can find a healthier place eventually?