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Antiwork

As an artist, work makes me feel so dead inside that I quit drawing (mini rant)

A lot of people hate work, but it feels like it's extra crushing for people who have passions that they are not only good at, but that if which they feel defines them and how they function in the world. I scored as an INFP on MBTI and it describes me pretty well. Most of the jobs I've had has been the exact opposite of what is important to me. I've had long hours, rude loud customers, been in a job-related vehicle accident, bullying bosses and coworkers, been hit on by creepers at work, and had my art laughed at when I said I wanted to pursue animation to a coworker, etc. I don't draw or paint anymore. I have so much physical and mental pain that I just come home, shower, and curl up in bed and wait until 3:00 am when my alarm goes off. I hate my…


A lot of people hate work, but it feels like it's extra crushing for people who have passions that they are not only good at, but that if which they feel defines them and how they function in the world. I scored as an INFP on MBTI and it describes me pretty well. Most of the jobs I've had has been the exact opposite of what is important to me. I've had long hours, rude loud customers, been in a job-related vehicle accident, bullying bosses and coworkers, been hit on by creepers at work, and had my art laughed at when I said I wanted to pursue animation to a coworker, etc.

I don't draw or paint anymore. I have so much physical and mental pain that I just come home, shower, and curl up in bed and wait until 3:00 am when my alarm goes off. I hate my life and feel resentful when I see people who got to follow their path and have happy, satisfied lives. I feel horrible. Like God abandoned me or something. I can't afford art school, so I work two jobs to make ends meet. Since my parents never understood how important my career path was to me, I ended up working gruelling minimum wage jobs scrubbing toilets in hotels and schools, retail, and welding (my dad pushed me into it and I almost had a heat stroke, I'm not a very strong person and hated the work).

Most jobs are pretty unimaginative. I don't know very many artists or musicians and I was told I once at work that I didn't look like someone who played music. I felt so abandoned and isolated that day. Jobs are so soul crushing. I feel like if you gave Bill Lumberg from Office Space a paintbrush this is what I feel like the vast majority of jobs are like. They don't know what to do with artistic/introverted types. It's as if the job market was created on purpose to make it impossible for those like me to thrive. I feel ruined. Life sucks.

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