So I've been struggling with my mental health. I've worked for this company for years. I have my ups and downs. Besides the crippling anxiety and depression, I do a good job. I do what I am paid for which is not a lot.
Yesterday I was having suicidal thoughts and was distracted by that, because I was thinking I should get some help. Today my boss calls me and wants to talk about my performance.
I am extremely depressed and fighting these feelings, but now on top of it, I am getting very subtle threats thay if I don't improve I could lose my job.
You know when you want to cry so your throat tightens up and you're basically just whining? Yeah thats me on the phone with my boss and the customers. I'm really in a lot of emotional pain. I'm sure he can hear the pain in my voice but it's not his job to care. His job is to squeeze productivity out of whatever is left of me.
I offered a solution which I thought would drastically help me improve my performance, but it was pretty much rejected. I wanted a training refresher because it had been years since training. He basically denied me that opportunity.
Any advice on how to handle this? I don't really want to get fired….