I’m on a shoot for a massive company, spending millions of dollars for a 60 second commercial. The hours I’m expected to work are heinous. I’ve been in the industry for 3 years now, so I’m used to the 14-18+ hour days, short turnaround, and general exhaustion. When I’m on shoots that are creatively fulfilling, the pay and people make me stick around. But this last job has me ready to leave the industry. I have been working 7 days straight, and I finally have a day off. But I’ve been bombarded with calls and emails all day that I’m expected to answer because everything is so urgent on this project.
I had a major breakdown because I’m missing the birth of my niece, my dad is in the hospital, and I can’t afford to move to a new apartment even though I don’t have a life outside of work. I feel like I can’t leave the industry because I’ve put in so much work into my career, but I literally don’t have a life outside of it. All efforts at romantic relationships fail because my schedule is so unpredictable. My friendships suffer because I’m so flaky. Even when I’m not working I’m so damn tired that I can’t see my friends. My health is in poor condition because I don’t have time to cook for myself or go to the gym, and often times the catering at work isn’t healthy. And the craft services are always available so I’m snacking on shit that is going to kill me.
I need to stick out the rest of this job, but after this I need out. I feel so lost. I’m only 24 so I know I have my whole life ahead of me, but I feel like if I give up now I’m a failure.