For the record: I am in my fifth year of design college (had to go two semesters longer cause of the rona)
I am turning 25 and never had a fulltime paid job outside of high school, nor did I work part time in employment. You heard right.
I am not coming from priviledged background, infact I am living of off “student support” for students from poverty. I suffer from severe anxiety, ADHD and chronic physical illness. Most of my semester breaks were filled with essays, deadlines and in my case, surgeries.
My fiance works part time. We get by quite good. We have a simple life.
My first two years of college were so cramped with courses and deadlines it was crazy. Our professors urged us to NOT work during those years cause we will not be able to catch up. And boy, were they right.
Now, to the core of my rant. In my third year I worked as a freelancer and it was amazing. Basically, my part time job if ya will. But while I worked I still had people all around me say ” why not get a PROPER job during the semester/ semester break?? Why not get an internship, unpaid of course, freelancing isnt work, get an internship !”
…and I just needed a bloody break from my previous semester. The guilt I started to feel was horrendous and made my anxiety WORSE. I was EXHAUSTED. I turned su*cidal.
I felt like my entire education, my projects, my skills,even my freelance position was WORTHLESS cause I havent worked the traditional way. And i still feel that way. I dont need a job. And infact, each job I would take on would only be out of anxiety,not cause it actually interests me.
I was shamed for not picking up a part time job such as serving, waiting tables or whatever. I was also shamed for not getting a job in the field.
I have utmost respect for ANY worker,especially customer service or retail. But I dont get why I am expected to work when I don't need the money.
So I worked as a freelancer for a year and figured it was too much for me while trying to be a successful fulltime student with chronic illness AND a bloody life.
After the project was finished I stopped working to focus on my studies and personal projects. So the entire year of 2021 I did NOT work. No internship,no work. Only uni, my own projects and my hobbies. I worked on my mental health, my relationship and made a career change. I am now working towards a freelance career in illustration. I am currently volunteering in an animal shelter.
And still…sitting at home, relaxing while working on my illustrations..feels like I am worthless cause..you know..I am not doing enough for my career. I am not “motivated” enough, I am not..employable…
Can we stop measuring a persons ans a STUDENTS motivation, ambition and social sklls on whether they worked during college?…….i dont get it. How can you judge me on whether I worked for someone or not?