Just got out of a job interview which went quite well (I'm likely going to get it, in fact) with two exceptions: it's incredibly far away from me (I'd have to spend 3+ hours on commute alone) and the pay is quite below average. Besides, the interviewer would consistently ask me things like “can I count on you for this or that or in such and such scenario?” Which didn't really help either as it made me feel more coerced than anything else.
Problem is, I'm looking for an entry-level job in an area I love, and my family, being old fashioned, have hammered into me this archaic idea that I shouldn't expect anything good from a first job and that refusing a job is an awful thing.
When you put it all together, I don't intend (and don't really want) to take the job but I'm feeling guilty about it. Like I'd let them down or disappoint them? It's an awful feeling which I know makes no sense, but I can't help it but put myself in this almost subservient position. I've been a long time lurker here so now I'm here to ask of you: please help me deconstruct all that stuff. Some words of encouragement would certainly be welcome as well 🙂