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Antiwork

Capitalism has me so afraid to ask for what I am worth for what I am doing

At the beginning of the year I accepted a position and returned to the company where I worked pre-pandemic. My experiences with this company were being overworked, underpaid, and stressed out beyond belief. I vowed not to return to the company due to a few different factors: the pandemic, going to therapy, working with a wonderful start up company (that closed a year after I started with them), and finally being able to focus on my mental and physical health. When they called me to talk about running their flagship restaurant, I was hesitant to say the least. I figured I should go in and at least hear the owners out. When I first walked in I noticed they had replaced a toxic HR person-who was really just one of the owners ex-girlfriends, gotten a professional book keeper-the one previous being a relative of the owners, and was impressed by…


At the beginning of the year I accepted a position and returned to the company where I worked pre-pandemic. My experiences with this company were being overworked, underpaid, and stressed out beyond belief. I vowed not to return to the company due to a few different factors: the pandemic, going to therapy, working with a wonderful start up company (that closed a year after I started with them), and finally being able to focus on my mental and physical health.

When they called me to talk about running their flagship restaurant, I was hesitant to say the least. I figured I should go in and at least hear the owners out. When I first walked in I noticed they had replaced a toxic HR person-who was really just one of the owners ex-girlfriends, gotten a professional book keeper-the one previous being a relative of the owners, and was impressed by the changes. They talked about respecting the work-life balance, not working crazy overtime and comping vacation time if working weekends were needed. They offered me a decent salary, health care, and vacation time. I took a week to think about it. I talked to my partner, explaining the positive image I got from the company, and eventually accepted the job offer.

2 weeks into my return, the owner sat me down and asked me to become the Corporate Executive Chef for the company. The current CEC had been offered a different job that he could not match, so the owner asked me if I wanted a shot. I told him that I was very interested, but I had never done something like this before so I may need time to get up to speed. He said he would work with me and gave me a shot. I was so excited! I got a shot at my dream job, at a company that knew my work ethic was good and I had seen so many positive changes in the company… I wanted to be the next positive change for the company. I never went to Culinary School and have been learning in kitchens for 15 years. I viewed this opportunity to further my career as something I could only hope for!

Fast forward 7.5 months:

I never received an increase in pay after accepting the promotion, nor have I received a clear list of my roles and responsibilities. On top of my regular duties of running their corporate kitchen, I have opened 3 new locations for the company, trained 3 chefs in our kitchen procedures (which I had to write, since we had none to start with), and was the main point of contact for nutritional analysis of our menus for a hospital contract.

During this time the HR person quit and the owner hired his wife to fill her position. She is never in the office, is unreachable most of the time and has been messing up distribution of benefits since she started. We are so tight on staff that eventually myself and the Corporate GM had to get all managers together and put a hiring plan in place, as well as doing all the job postings and onboarding ourselves. It feels like we move from putting out one metaphorical fire to the next, and the corporate team keeps pushing off on following through on promises to staff for equipment, raises, and simple things like up to date signage.

It is hard for me to do anything that I used to enjoy. I come home just mentally and physically wiped most days. The erratic schedule and demands for my time have caused me to miss enough therapy appointments, I don't feel able to schedule any more. It is so hard for me to separate my identity with the job I have because I believe that it is the only opportunity I will have to prove myself. Because they have not said: 'Hey, you are doing a fantastic job! You deserve what we were paying the last guy that had half the responsibilities you have.' I feel like I still have not proven myself.

Struggling with asking for a raise for the promotion and job I have been doing for the last 7 months.

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