Six months ago I left a stressful job I loved that was literally destroying my health for a boring job I hate that’s destroying my mental health and self esteem. Everyone keeps telling me “things will get better,” “it’s only been six months,” but I’ve never really been bad at anything before—I’m a jack of all trades master of none kind of person. I’m going to be 29 this year and finally found something I’m truly bad at: sales. When I applied for the job I was not clearly informed that our office would function essentially like a call center and rely exclusively on sales. Had I know this I never would have applied in the first place. I hate calling people. I hate getting yelled at and I hate getting hung up on, but you know what? I wouldn’t want to talk to me either. I hate being solicited and I hate being told that I’m doing the customer a favor by offering them services they didn’t ask for in the first place. Beyond that, I hate that my self esteem is tied up in my inability to be successful in my current position. Compound that with the fact that I’m the sole breadwinner in my household, and chronically ill living in a healthcare hellscape. I can’t justify looking for a new job again just to reestablish new insurance, find a new doctor, do blood work for the umpteenth time, wait two weeks and then get another weeks long pre-authorization for my medication because I just did all this and it took months to even get an APPOINTMENT. I feel so trapped. I want to run back to my old job, which will take me with open arms, but know my health is more important. Then again, so is my mental health. Why do we even have to choose? I don’t see myself here longer than a year, but despite that I also really don’t want to be fired for sucking at my job. Right now, more than anything, I just want to scream.