Hello all!
Wanted to share a situation I find myself in, and y’all’s take on it. Long write up below (apologize in advance )
I work for a major rapid transit company in the Dallas area as a IT Help Desk representative. Been there for about a year now, and have always strived to do my assigned tasks/work to the best of my ability. Even in the midst of having to deal with disabilities such as Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’m trying new medications to help alleviate the effects of both, but it’s definitely not helped by what I can only describe as possibly the most toxic workplace I’ve ever been in, from a corporate culture standpoint.
We are critically understaffed. Employee turnover is extremely high. And we are left picking up the pieces, and the unfair criticisms from people within the company because of missed deadlines and service request due to not having enough people. The C-suite and CIO constantly pull reps from our team to tend to their trivialities, which then has the adverse effect of compounding the problems we have with dissatisfaction at our service. And the Senior Manager of our team is not helping at all. In fact, I would argue that he makes it worse.
We cannot reasonably approach our senior manager. He is one of those people who believe that criticism, or feedback that is less than positive is a personal attack on himself. A person who believes that mental illnesses or other ailments are “moral failures” instead of being legitimate disabilities. I personally am afraid of going to him for anything, due to his mercurial nature. One minute we’re doing good, the next we get our work from home days revoked because we are not doing a good job, and so on.
This Friday, I raised several of the issues that we were experiencing at the service desk during our team meeting. I expressed in no uncertain terms that we are being buried beneath a avalanche of work, stress, and demands from a uncompromising C-Suite and CIO. And also that I cannot trust our managers at all unfortunately, and was in a sad situation of contemplating resignation even though I have no other job to sustain my finances.
That then lead to a meeting after via Teams with the Senior Manager, my direct Manager, and the in office Manager (I know, stupid right?) about how I have been having “attitude problems”, and that if I did not like working at the company, I could “pack my bags up and leave”. In fact, he actually told my direct manager to collect my badge and escort me to the door at that moment. However, after pointing out that I have had no negative reviews from users or my coworkers, and that I perform my job diligently and always complete my requests, tasks and incidents promptly, he then reneged for the moment and said he would “discuss it with the CIO”
I find it very difficult though to continue at a workplace where struggling with your mental health is seen as “attitude problems”. Even on days where I’ve come in visibly depressed because of everything going on at work and at home, I always have treated my team respectfully and have always been there to assist them with what they need.
I don’t know what will happen come Monday. I’m trying to find another job ASAP just in case the hammer does come down. But in a odd way, I feel at peace with things even if they go in that direction. Again, it is no coincidence we have lost people left and right. And the senior manager and other uncompromising members of the Technology department will risk finding themselves with no one left to support their user base should they continue to act as they do.