These days you gotta be sociable with your coworkers. It’s not enough to just be polite and civil. You need to read the room and try to fit in. If you’re an introvert, like myself, and you work with extroverts you’re bound to be misunderstood. You’ll be assumed to be unhappy in your work, that you don’t like anyone, or worst of all “not a team player.” Because…you don‘t want to catch up on the latest gossip with everyons else. Gossip about spouses, partners, friends, family, and especially each other or your boss. Or because you like having a quiet lunch alone instead of with everyone else. Or because you’re the only one who comes in and works the whole 8 hours and doesn’t talk much. Because, it’s nothing personal, you just prefer to go to work, do your job, get paid, go home.
In an office full of self proclaimed gossipers, who are “like family” and “know everything about each other“ it’s really hard to be the only private person. When they start asking you personal questions to “get to know you” and you keep the answers vague, it’s hard to not come off as aloof and cold. When really, you’ve had bad experiences with people like this and you’ve learned your lesson. People that say they’re just “curious” about you or “care“ about you are usually just storing up personal info they get out if you to use against you later. Or, at the very least, so they have a new exciting subject to whisper about when you’re not around. I’m not aloof, unfriendly, or cold. I just don’t discuss personal details about myself to people I haven’t chosen to be close with.
My coworkers said they completely understand if I prefer to keep to myself and they don’t take it personal. But the more comfortable they get with me, the more strange they act around me. One coworker in particular, who LOVES to pry personal info out of people, and knows she can’t with me is especially weird around me. Almost acts…suspicious and defensive. I feel I’m the least threatening person in that office. I stay out of everything. Got a secret? No one will find out because I don’t care. I’m completely indifferent to their nonsense. Yet I get the bad feeling they more and more do not like me. Or, at the very least, are starting to feel offended by my not being super sociable like they are with each other. All I want is to just go to work, stay out of sh*t, and go home. Which makes me the most harmless person there. Right? Or am I missing something here? Why do people in the work place put so much priority on how well you socialize with your coworkers? This isn’t kindergarten. I’m not a 6 year old that needs to learn social skills. I’m an adult, who already has friends and family. And I just want to do my job. And go home. That’s. It.