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Antiwork

Combative Negotiations

I’ve seen a lot of screenshots and samples of combative counters to offers and responses to recruiters. While the frustration and anger is certainly warranted, it can be counterproductive if you still have an interest in working with that organization. Coming out in an argumentative way triggers a psychological fight response in the counter party that increases the likelihood they’ll push back or write you off, rather than acquiesce to your demands, or even consider finding a middle ground. There are times when it’s completely a lost cause, or their offer/behavior indicates they’re not a company you’d want to be a part of. In those cases, by all means, give them a good f*ck you and dressing down. I’m particularly inspired by some of the blunt resignation messages shared in here. That sort of reality check is needed by so many employers. But if you want a counter offer and…


I’ve seen a lot of screenshots and samples of combative counters to offers and responses to recruiters. While the frustration and anger is certainly warranted, it can be counterproductive if you still have an interest in working with that organization.

Coming out in an argumentative way triggers a psychological fight response in the counter party that increases the likelihood they’ll push back or write you off, rather than acquiesce to your demands, or even consider finding a middle ground.

There are times when it’s completely a lost cause, or their offer/behavior indicates they’re not a company you’d want to be a part of. In those cases, by all means, give them a good f*ck you and dressing down. I’m particularly inspired by some of the blunt resignation messages shared in here. That sort of reality check is needed by so many employers.

But if you want a counter offer and to keep the conversation open and in your favor, consider the following.

  1. Never be the first to give out a number.

Q: “What’s your current salary?” A: “I think we’re at too early a stage to discuss that. Right now I’m more concerned with organization and role fit” OR “my salary is in line with market rate” OR “my current salary isn’t relevant to the value I can provide to your company”

Q: “What are your salary expectations?” A: “Competitive market rate, commiserate with my skills and experience.” If forced to give a number, give a wide range, with the baseline at least 10%-15% above your current salary or lowest acceptable rate.

  1. Never accept the first offer. Most companies have a range they can provide for each role, and the first is almost always at the low end for that role.

A: “Due to xyz situation, I’m not able to accept anything less than [desired salary].” The situations can be family matters, lack of benefits, previous salary, cost of living – and you can make things up. You don’t necessarily have to provide a reason for not accepting a lower salary, but it does help humanize the situation and make you an empathetic character.

  1. Your strongest position is being able to walk away. I know that’s not the case for everyone, but if you can walk away, do it if you don’t feel your getting your worth. This is where walking away gracefully can really benefit you, because many times, that’s the kick it takes for an employer to finally give and and give you what you deserve. But that won’t happen if you give them an abrasive rejection.

I know this whole song and dance is frustrating and shouldn’t be necessary to simply avoid being exploited. I also know in many ways it’s antithetical to the mission of anti work (sorry Mods!). But the reality is that most of us need to work. Hopefully this helps some of you get what you deserve.

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