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Antiwork

Conflicted on staying with my current employer

Ok so this is a long story and (for obvious reasons) a throwaway account: I (28M) have been working for a construction company for the last 5 years as a project engineer / project manager – basically running everything about a job, from the bidding process, permitting, submittals, meetings, reports, billings, etc… start to finish. I live in one of the most expensive places in the US, where the equivalent job in a state like Texas, pays about $30,000 less. I currently make $100,000/year – which on paper sounds good, but for where I live, is definitely pretty middle-of-the-road… Next month I will be getting a $10,000 raise, which is great, so what's the issue? It has been almost 2 years since my last pay increase and come to find out, I was going to have to wait almost another year and a half for it if it weren't for…


Ok so this is a long story and (for obvious reasons) a throwaway account:

I (28M) have been working for a construction company for the last 5 years as a project engineer / project manager – basically running everything about a job, from the bidding process, permitting, submittals, meetings, reports, billings, etc… start to finish.

I live in one of the most expensive places in the US, where the equivalent job in a state like Texas, pays about $30,000 less. I currently make $100,000/year – which on paper sounds good, but for where I live, is definitely pretty middle-of-the-road… Next month I will be getting a $10,000 raise, which is great, so what's the issue?

It has been almost 2 years since my last pay increase and come to find out, I was going to have to wait almost another year and a half for it if it weren't for my direct supervisor. A little backstory here:

In summer 2020, the owner offered me a slight raise then, or a larger bonus at the end of the year, only asking so because times were a little rough (cash-flow wise, not because of COVID), and I knew exactly where the financial standings were, so at the time, in my mind, I couldn't, with a good conscience, take the extra pay immediately, knowing it would hamper our ability to do future work, so I took the larger bonus. (I know, I know – big mistake)

In the beginning of 2021, there were some things I messed up and definitely cost the company some money, but I wasn't the only one that had ever done this. Obviously, owner got mad, chewed me out (which I deserved – almost getting fired), but we moved past it – and the owner specifically told me that he was over it, it's in the past and that we should both move on (I was upset with myself, so he basically told me to me on because he is already over it, just don't let it happen again).

So that's what I did – I moved on, made myself better, learned, and improved. In that time since, my direct supervisor (who is good to me) has gotten multiple raises and an almost 3x larger bonus than mine last year. Not envious or anything at all (just setting the scene), and he does deserve it, but I do A LOT of the work for him and help him A LOT. He's not helpless and does do a lot himself, but he would 100% be lost without me in a lot of areas.

In the recent couple of months, my supervisor has asked me about when I last got a raise, to which I told him 'almost 2 years ago' and he did not like that. His philosophy is that people will tend to feel like leaving if there is no progression and they are stagnating (which is very true).

A couple months ago, the owner offered my supervisor another raise, but he turned it down, similar to my situation, where he knew we were at a financial low point, so didn't want to sink the ship himself. Well now that swing has passed, the owner gave him the raise, but my supervisor said he would split it with me. At first, the owner objected, wanting to wait almost ANOTHER YEAR AND A HALF before giving me a raise. When my supervisor told me about the raise, he didn't tell me about the last part, just the splitting part – he wanted it to be a positive moment, and I appreciate that from him.

The same day, the owner calls me in and we talk about some project stuff and he brings up the raise and says that he was initially opposed, but my supervisor insisted and he also admitted that I have been doing a great job, praised, and immediately said he was gonna hold the raise for over a year because of the stuff I messed up over a year ago… So what the hell was that about moving past it? I did… and got better and gave even more effort to my work.

Now before you roast the owner, know this – he is very blunt and to the point. He will tell you exactly what he feels and makes it very clear what he expects. I appreciate that side of him and it has almost never been a bad thing. I know that's why he told me the backstory of the raise, but it makes me question a lot of things… Did he really move past what happened last year like he said he did? Because it doesn't seem like it… Will he always feel this way to me? Will I have to fight for EVERY raise in the future and have my supervisor basically argue with the owner about it every time?

I am very appreciative about all the things the owner does for us as employees and the community. He is a great man with a kind heart and gives A LOT to charity – we even have our own non-profit division. Our Christmas bonuses are usually VERY generous. There is a lot to like about working at this company and I like my job, but the owner revealing that info about the raise just really has made spin my head for the last few days.

Like I said there are a lot of factors at play, and I don't 'hate' my job, but the situation is just making me second guess a lot of things. I have a lot of experience packed densely in my 5 years, so I don't think finding a new job would be an issue, and am not worried about that, but it's not something I want to do. There is a more close-knit family-like culture here and it is an enjoyable place to work, I just feel like there is now an asterisk over my head, even tho the owner said there wouldn't be… Any advice redditors?

Small side note: We have a field supervisor that has been with the owner for many years, and is almost like a brother. He has screwed waaaayyyy more times than I have and cause everyone in the office numerous headaches, and also cost the company waaayy more money than my screwup did and even had one in the last month that could cost us nearly $500,000, yet he still gets paid more than anyone else in the company with more Overtime than we can keep track of…

So I feel like it is a double-standard, with my screw-up being something that could be held over my head for multiple years, while someone paid waaayyy more than me screws up more often and on a greater scale gets zero punishment.

I know this is more of an aside, but it is definitely contributing to my conflicted thoughts…

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