TLDR: A resident at my job continuously called me his “playboy bunny” several times throughout the night, despite being 60+ years older than me.
For context, I work in an Assisted Care Facility as a Dietary Aide (server) in the dining room. I've worked here for a little over a week now.
I was working my shift tonight and we had this resident tonight that made me just completely uncomfortable. I've been working in customer-facing jobs for over 7 years, so I've dealt with inappropriate jokes before — but I normally just get through it thinking, “I won't see them again. I can ignore it.”
WELL, tonight, we had a resident, let's call him Jason, be completely creepy to me. This man is old enough to be my grandfather. I'm 22, he's maybe in his mid-80s from my guess. Here's the conversation:
Me: Hello there! What would you like to drink tonight?
Jason: Hmm… Let me see. Water, coffee, gin, and tonic.
Me: Haha, okay. I'll grab the water and coffee for you, but I think we just ran out of gin and tonic. (Obviously joking — the residents know we don't have alcohol, but they'll jokingly ask for it.)
Jason: I didn't realize they were sending me a playboy bunny tonight.
Me: (Ignores his comment) Would you like the shrimp for dinner tonight?
Jason: Okay, as long as my playboy bunny is bringing it out.
I ignored it the first time, but it was disgusting he kept calling me that. I made an effort to avoid his table completely after I brought his food to him, and I made sure to tell the rest of the kitchen staff what he was calling me and how uncomfortable it was. Unfortunately, that was the extent of who I could complain to tonight — I need to wait until Monday afternoon to further voice my frustrations.
It was made worse when my coworker, another server, was passing by and Jason asked him, “Can you have my playboy bunny bring me another fork?”
I am dressed in an oversized white button-down (We don't have any my size yet — my job provides shirts), an apron, and you can not tell the outline of my body from how it all fits.
I'm not only uncomfortable about his comment — but the fact that he:
- Kept repeating it 5-6 times throughout the night
- Repeated it to my coworker
- Is a VERY loud man, so it's possible other residents heard this.
I don't want my residents — that I see nearly every day, for nearly every meal, thinking of me as a sex object. I'm already frustrated enough that I'm responsible for 35+ residents, need to remember their dietary restrictions (diabetes, cut up food, etc), and need to RUSH because if you leave them waiting for 30+ seconds, they'll yell at you to rush over. While bussing tables constantly to allow for more residents to rush in.
Don't get me wrong — I like my job, and I love some of my residents. I have a favorite, who I've deemed as nearly a grandmother to me because she's the sweetest old woman and gets so excited to see me.
I'm just wondering — from anyone who may have been in this situation, what was the outcome for you? They obviously can't “fire” him like they would if it was a coworker, so I'm wondering what will even happen if it's addressed. I was very clearly uncomfortable and made sure to step away from him every time he addressed me like that, so I don't think his behavior was changed. And we're far too understaffed that it wouldn't be feasible to avoid me serving him.