Back in August of 2020, I was working in a MickeyD's on the sketchy end of town, in an effort to not be homeless for any more months of the pandemic.
My shift ended, I clocked out, and walked out of the (locked) doors of the Golden Arches to Hell.
A customer corners me. Dude is big, and he is angry. I'm not exactly the shortest person, but he had me dwarfed easy.
Given that I was mostly startled at what was happening, it took me a moment to realize what he was saying,
“I SAID I WANTED BARBEQUE SAUCE! YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY! I WANT MY BARBEQUE SAUCE!”
“Uh…. sir, I'm off the clock, so-“
“GET ME MY DAMN BARBEQUE SAUCE! I SAID I WANTED IT, GIVE IT TO ME!”
Now, y'all- here's the thing. This grown ass toddler was wearing an Xfinity polo, and driving an Xfinity truck.
And Xfinity happened to be my internet provider at the time. I'd just signed up with them.
[So, I took out my phone and said, “Let me text my manager real quick,” while I held the phone up to get a picture of his license plate.
“Now sir, as I said I'm off the clock. But do you know what else I am? An Xfinity customer. And you seem to be very much on the clock- or at least you're still repping them, right now. And now I have the license number of this work van. So I suggest you back off and stop harassing customers while they're heading home from work, before I report you to your manager for physically intimidating and screaming at random customers, just minding their own business…. while wearing your Xfinity polo, and driving an Xfinity van.”
Then I went home, and called them anyway. Because fuck that guy.]
…..is what I wish I'd done. I was scared, honestly, at this hulking dude screaming at me like a madman over fucking barbeque sauce. I didn't even take that order. I ran back inside, and my manager tossed me a couple bbq sauce cups.
Then on my way home, I called them and gave them the location and a description of their insane-o employee. At the very least, I made damn clear he was screaming at me and harassing me off the clock while repping his company loud and clear.
I kicked myself for not at least getting the license plate.
I thought y'all would like the wouldashouldacoulda dream a little better, hence the format.