I'm tired. I'm burnt out down to nothing. I'm barely holding it together. I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life but therapy isn't enough. $25 an hour isn't enough. I need TIME. I need time in my life that I can't get back. I need time to do household chores, visit family and friends, have ME time. As it is my days are work, gym, dinner, bed. Weekends are for catching up on housework and running errands. And then it's back to work. I'd give anything for a four day week. I don't think I'm built for a 40 hour work week, and I hate that I feel lazy as hell for even saying that, but it's true. I am struggling.
I've worked my whole life, through high school, university, and since the full time, sometimes multiple jobs to get by. I've been able to take one entire straight week off, once, during covid. Since I started working in high school. One week off. (I'm 26 now, for the record)
I have a decent job, $25/hr 9-5 office job and I feel like I should be grateful but all I can think about is quitting because I'm so fucking tired. I break down at work multiple times a week, I can barely hold it together. I asked my boss for a four day week and he wouldn't go for it, I'm needed in the office everyday. I am the only one in my department and I can't take time off or else literally no one gets paid (accounting/payroll). I do not have a degree in this field. I'm scared if I quit I won't be able to find another job- and for what? So I can find somewhere else to have my soul-sucked?
I'm going to try and see my psychiatrist again and go over my meds, see if taking medical leave is a possibility before I lose it completely, I know I'll be OK. But that's not enough. I want to thrive. Capitalism is a disease and it is slowly killing us in multitudes of ways, this is just one. The standard work week should be reduced and everyone should still be able to earn a living wage at reduced hours. Less hours, more pay.
/vent
(BC, Canada)