Posting here because I really need to get this off my chest and I don't need someone telling me to “suck it up” and that my “generation is so lazy” or whatever. Also, sorry if the formatting is weird, I don't use reddit that much.
I'm 17 and in my senior year. After the pandemic delayed me getting a driver's license, I finally got one this summer and decided to look for jobs. I landed a part time job at a store near my house, which was good since I wouldn't have to go out of my way to get there. It isn't a big store like Walmart or Target, but it isn't small either; it has a few locations in other nearby places. It's a bit hectic which I don't mind, I kind of figured it would be. I was a bit annoyed when they kept going back and forth on me being a cashier or not (especially since I applied to be a stocker anyway), but I was okay when they decided to put me on the register. I don't love my job, but I don't mind doing it; the pay's good anyway. Maybe I'd have more issues with it if I needed it to survive, but this is money that I'm saving up for stuff I want and probably some future things.
So what's the problem, then? My hours. I told my boss that I wanted to work 20 hours a week for a good balance and they seemed alright with it. I thought it was a little strange that they put my max working time as 32 hours, but I figured it was for when things got super busy and I needed to work around 25. Maybe it was a precaution thing, you know? I started my first week right before school started and it was a 32 hour week. I was okay with it since school hadn't started yet and I still had free time. When school started, it was still a 32 hour week. I'd get off from school and go straight to work, quickly get some ramen or fast food for dinner, get home and eat it, then go straight to bed. Then I'd miss my alarms to shower bc I was tired and getting home well after dark, but I'd wake up anyway and do it all again.
My second week, I realized that it was too much. It was manageable because we didn't have many assignments, but it wasn't going to stay like that for very long. So I asked my manager if I could reduce my hours. I even gave them times that would be better for me, like three 5 hour days and one 8 hour weekend, or two 5 hour days and two 8 hour weekends which would be a much more manageable 23-26 hours. Either way, it's four days a week; which is better since I'm in school. They said it was no problem and that I could reduce my hours any time. I was already scheduled for 32 on my third week, but I was much more optimistic because it would be over soon. I just had to stick it out until the schedule came up again.
And I did. They texted it to me since I didn't get a chance to ask about it and I was disappointed, to say the least. I tried to get over it, but when I forwarded it to my mom, who was already concerned about how much I was working, she yelled from her room “That's still too many hours!!!” My mom's a hard worker, she raised me to be a hard worker. She's one of those libertarian, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” types. So if she is saying I'm working too much, then I'm definitely working too much. The schedule is Sunday to Saturday. I had an 8 hour shift on Sunday. I'm gonna have three five hour days this week, and Saturday is another 8 hour day. That's 31 hours.
Thanks, management, that's totally what I asked for! I know it must've been so difficult getting rid of that extra hour per week, so I really commend y'all for your bravery there!!! (/s)
I have a hard time standing up for myself. I don't tell people when I have a problem, if I'm struggling, I just hide it and decide to deal with it myself. I'm a pushover. I'm a communist and I know that in theory, I should be speaking out about this. I know I'm being exploited and I know that it's wrong. I know that I need to have a backbone when it comes to things like this, but it's hard to in real life. And that's what companies thrive off of. They like pushovers, it doesn't matter that I'm tall and big and have a mean face; I'm a massive pushover. I don't like conflict, I just go with the flow. And I was so relieved because I thought that I had made myself clear. Apparently the bunches of “sorry”s that I threw in weren't good enough.
But I just can't go on like this. I tried to tell myself it was alright because hey, I'm getting paid and that means more band merch and cigarette money (especially with how expensive those are nowadays). But you know what money can't buy? Sunsets. I don't get to sit outside on my porch and look at a sky so beautiful, you'd think it was painted by angels. I don't get to sit down with my family and enjoy dinner. I hardly see my dogs anymore and they miss me. I'm scrambling to catch up on homework and cheating on my math because I don't have time to learn how pre-cal works. And don't even think about having a social life outside of school. If my friends wanna hang out, I can't; I'm busy. Money can't buy time and there's not enough hours in a day anymore. I didn't get to enjoy labor day even though I had it off, I was too busy trying to figure out what chores I could manage and stressing about work.
I have a lot of reasons to stay; good pay, it's a job that I can do just fine, it's nearby, I don't want to quit so soon and have that on my resume (plus I'm still in the probationary period) or deal with the interviewing and adjusting process again, and I shop there a lot so it would be awkward coming in and seeing my former coworkers and bosses. So I'm going to give them another chance and as much as I don't want to, I'm just going to have to put my foot down. Because if I worked one more day, I'd be working full-time. I don't want my senior year to be this cycle. I miss my dogs, I miss my parents even though we have a strained relationship, I miss being able to go on drives to nowhere in particular. Maybe I don't need the money right now, but I'm saving up for something that means the world to me and with how laws are in Texas right now, there's no way in hell that insurance would cover it.
Idk why I'm writing this, I just need to get it out. I'm fucking tired. I'm frustrated. I should've seen it coming seeing how companies are but for God's sake, I thought I got lucky. But that's just how they reel you in, I guess. And maybe it's my fault for being a pushover, but I'm a teenager so I think some vulnerability is understandable. I'm pretty sure the laws here don't even let you work that much when school is in session, but I have no idea how that would be since 17 is the age of consent here and I'll be 18 in half a year anyway. And I don't even HAVE time to learn it because I'm just constantly busy. I don't even have time to use weed as an escape from my problems anymore. I have zero coping mechanisms because I'm just always on the clock. One guaranteed day off a week and that's it. I'm alive, but I'm not living. I'm stuck in a perpetual autopilot mode and I don't get excited for things anymore because i'm going to have to move onto something else anyway. I'm so fragile right now, I don't like how I am. I feel like a robot and I'm always short with my mom anytime she talks to me because I'm tired all the time. I'm afraid that I'm going to isolate myself from my friends completely because I just won't have the energy to talk to them, let alone open up about my problems. I thought things were getting better, but I'm not happy. I don't have time to be happy.
Yet I don't want to quit. I feel like if I had more time off, it'd help. I'd have some free time back and I'd still be making money. It doesn't even matter if it's not that much, it's not survival money. So I'm just lost. I'm trying to figure out how to communicate it because apparently, giving them better days isn't good enough.
And if anyone there is seeing this, especially a boss or something; you're putting me between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to quit, so don't make me. If the store's gonna fall apart without a teenager working there, then hire more people because it's not my responsibility to keep it running. Y'all are nice people, but I don't like how much you're taking advantage of me. Literally begging you to quit working me so much, please just listen.
And if anyone read this far, thank you very much. It feels good getting it off my chest and if anyone has any advice or just words of encouragement, it would be greatly appreciated. Hope everyone has a good week and if you don't, I hope it gets better soon. I'm bad at ending things, so I'll just leave it here. I know I lurk, but this community has helped me a lot so thanks for that as well.