When COVID happened and there was stay-at-home order, that was the first time I had a “break” in 13 years. I use to work 50-60 hours a week on average, seldom had vacation/sick days. Off days; Wednesday/Sunday. Thats how life was every single week for 650+ weeks, Chris the gerbil running on a wheel. During the pandemic there was a stay-at-home order for about 3-4 weeks I forget. And that was the longest break I had in my adult life and I have never been happier. I found out from a friend that I qualified for some gubment bread so hell yeah I took it. Wasnt much but kept me afloat. During my break I dared dream to think, what if life could be like this every single day? Its so nice to just do nothing. “Dont feel like pickin up my phone so leave a message at the tone”.
In my 20s I was a workaholic, my first car at 20 was Porsche Boxster, I got my first Rolex at 23. I was stylin and profilin, but had a lot of payments, which leads to stress, so I was not a pleasant person to be around. The mentality you need to have to live like I romanticized was pretty toxic. “Id rather be dead than basic!” The root cause was fear, wanting to fit in, insecurity, a need for validation. This was before “Clout Chasing” and social media was even a thing. But I think most young men go through this phase. Think of these rich alpha influencers you see now on IG trying to sell suckers their get-rich-quick method. Think of Tom Cruise in Magnolia. I wanted to be like Tony Soprano, Ric Flair, Gordon Gekko, Jordan Belfort. Yeah that was me. Fast forward now almost age 34 im burnt out. Truth is I been burnt out, I hated working since day 1. But I gritted my teeth and kept doing it for all the wrong reasons. In a bittersweet way I am proud of my accomplishments because it really felt like me against the world. There was nobody on #TeamChris every day was a war of attrition, fragments of my soul for worldly gain.
Staying at home a lot during this pandemic I found out that instead of living for others I lived for myself. I read a quote somewhere “Luxury is meant to keep the rich poor” and it could not be truer. Cutting out a lot of the BS in my life made me a black sheep, ostracized by those following the status quo. Many people try to fit a mold, by age 25 you should have graduated and found a good job. At age 30 you should be engaged, and at 35 married with kids living in the upper-middle-class suburbs. Instead, I moved back in with my parents, sold my car and set up a home office. On paper looks like I hit rock bottom right? I went from living in (renting) a nice house, having a commercial office and driving an 80k car to being back with my moms. But getting rid of these things saved me thousands a month. Its kind of sad, but it took time to take this leap. I felt like I was throwing my identity away, the image and lifestyle was an extension of my body. If I were to die my tombstone would have read “Here lies Chris, he worked a lot and bought a LOT of shit” (Esoteric Shit)
I was married for about 5 years, wasnt happy, so I got divorced. I still care about my ex-wife, but I think we are better as business partners. Near the end of it we hardly talked unless it was business related. She wondered why I dont grind like her, with our incomes combined we could be living the life. What kind of lead up to it was her biological clock going off for kids, I told her that I don't like or want kids, nor do I want to work my ass off just to pay a mortgage on a big ass house I'm hardly ever in. I told her about my aspirations of retiring early which she did not share. So we split. We still keep in contact a lot but more as business friends now. I hate talking about money and work, but I know someones going to ask what I do. Im a consultant, long story short people pay me for my expert opinion. Why? Because they see my life and wish they were here. The “image” of success.
On the surface in these past 3 years people think I hit the poor house, young bucks probably talk behind my back saying “Remember that Chris? Man what happened!” But the truth is I have never been richer. I have very low expenses and 75% of my incomes disposable. As of this writing I have not made a single dollar in almost 1.5 months but I dont care, hardly dinged my savings. I only use about 600-800 a month going out eating or buying the small stuff on Amazon. Its a great feeling to know you dont NEED to make X amount every month. With my newly found free time I have started to exercise, this time for health not to fuel my competitive ego. Mike Tyson talks a lot about that, being scared of accidentally letting that super ego loose. Thats still me to an extent but im not as hyper-competative as I once was. Other than that I travel a lot, just going out of city limits, I live in Texas so if you drive an hour you can find a nice small town to spend the day. It takes me out of that stress-inducing environment. And I love it so much its become my new singular aspiration, traveling the whole world.
How do I plan on getting there? I hate discussing and speculating on investments but im going with managed rentals, that I buy outright. Im still working, still grinding albiet not as much but now there's renewed vigor. Like a gladiator, I have to win my freedom. I dont like to talk numbers but the goal is to achieve financial independence is 7 more years. 3 if I really put my nose to the ground, but this race horse accidently got the carrot on the stick and I just cant run fast anymore. If I stay the course I hope to be celebrating my 40th birthday in Thailand living comfortably off my savings/investments. The new Kendrick Lamar song “N95” was deeply emotional and profound impact for me because im the decluttering/throwing out the garbage stage of my life. There is also a great Jim Carrey interview where he says Depressed is actually needing a “Deep Rest” its worth a watch, hes a great mental health spokesperson. Well that's my story, if anyone else is tired of all the bullshit I can relate. Certainly not a guide on what to do. Oh weed helps a lot to take the edge off Im mostly high all the time. Since I started self-medicating I no longer drink alcohol.