I have a pretty good corporate job at a large employer. It's not my first – I've worked corporate before, and I know my level. I'm good but not one of those top 5% freaks. I'd say I tend to be in the 25th percentile in terms of performance and I'm fine with it. Work life balance and all that.
My boss is a charmer. Warm, well spoken, really good at showing he cares. But my performance reviews have been shocking. Literally, the only poor review in a department of 100 people. Consistently, no matter what I do. And the reasons given sound vaguely plausible but are so subjective – get a bit better at XYZ – or fixate on one error that is blown way out of proportion. To be clear, we all make errors – we work with data – and I've seen my colleagues make worse errors and have them brushed off.
First review was bad, figured I was new. Worked harder, addressed it, second review was like good job on the improvement but we want to see more, same. Third review I busted my ass, customers absolutely loved me, rave reviews. Told me he was very happy with my improvement, got a middle of the road rating. Led me to believe there was hope here.
Halfway to the next review, he decided to clarify that actually, the last review he saw me as borderline, not middle of the road. Sorry for any misunderstanding.
I should've quit then and there, but kids and rent and all that. Some people left the team, I picked up their work, but knew this was just an opportunity to fail. And sure enough, next review was back to weak again.
Again, he's very eloquent, never abusive, and the feedback has just enough kernels of truth to seem plausible. But I'm wise to the game now. But for a long time really had me doubting myself.
Anyone been through this? What would you say to him? We have a conversation coming up and I'd rather not be fired because I said something stupid. Kids and rent and that.