Hello all,
Been contemplating about writing this for a few months. Said fuck it and now we are here. I’d like to half vent and half ask for your opinion. First some backstory:
I had been applying to a few jobs on Indeed and a few other work sites, not super happy with my current work situation and figured it might be good to consider my options. Get a call from some guy one day and I let it go to voicemail (because I don’t answer unknown numbers). When I heard the voicemail it was the hiring manager for a sales company that specializes in Durable Medical Equipment (DME’s) and was looking to hire people in my field because of our familiarity with the healthcare industry as well as the athletic setting. I call him back and we chat for about 30 minutes, discussing my background, experience and potential interest in the position. Everything seemed to go very well, he stated several times that I seemed to be a great fit for the position and that he would like to head to the next stages of the interview process. I was driving at the time so my phone was on speaker phone and my wife heard the whole thing. Not that this is important to the story, but she noticed the flattery and clear interest from the recruiter as well. We schedule a video call to put a face to the name and further difficulty my qualifications.
That interview seemed to go even better than the first and he continued to flatter me and say how I am a great fit for the position and the company. He immediately scheduled a follow up interview with himself and the VP of sales. Great, I thought, no need to waste the VPs time if I am not a suitable candidate. Two days later I have yet another hour long video interview with the recruiter and the VP of sales. Same shit, lots of flattery and talk about how I seem to be perfect for the job and how’s they’d like to take the next steps, in this case the VP would fly out to where I lived and we would have an in person meeting to talk specifics and see if we are compatible. I was stoked and super excited about the opportunity. So much so that I stopped looking for further employment and even turned down other interviews.
A week goes by and I hear nothing back. Another week goes by and I still hear nothing, so i send the recruiter a message saying “Hey (insert name), just wanted to know if I am still being considered for the position. I don’t mean to be brash, I am just very interested in the position and am eager to know the next steps.” He calls me and proceeds to say something along the lines of “Hey, yeah no definitely, there are just a lot of moving pieces and we are trying to come up with the best offer. The VP will get in touch with you later today to give you the specifics.” Cool, I thought, even if they were no longer considering me, this was his chance to tell me that and he didn’t.
The day goes by and I hear nothing. A week. A month. To this day I have not received any sort of follow up or denial. Ghosted.
What the fuck?! This is my livelihood. My wife and I started to speak about arrangements and were just generally excited about a new opportunity. I mean, he fucking called me! Out of the blue! I didn’t even know this company existed, let alone that they were hiring. He sought me out, just to leave me in the cold.
Why do employers feel like they have the right to play with peoples emotions like this? I know for a fact these are the same assholes who turn around and complain about “how it’s so hard to find good workers these days” and “nobody seems to want to work”. I’m an adult, and more than that I am a professional. Had he said “listen we found someone more qualified and will no longer be considering you” I would have thanked him for his time and told him to let me know if another position opens up at some point in the future. But he didn’t. No one did. And here I was, feeling like shit about myself, having had missed other opportunities and just flat out falling into a depression because of it.
It took me a few months to dig myself out of that hole and fortunately I am in a much better place now and even have several other offers to consider. So I’m good, I’m happy and I am confident again. But I still feel so upset and disrespected. I had three fucking interviews with these clowns. Three. Three fucking chances to say “no thank you”. Three fucking hours of my time where I could have been looking dir another job, taking an interview or doing whatever the fuck I wanted. But instead they chose to fill me up with hot air and let me wonder without any answers.
Now for the advice:
I saw a while back on this sub a person had actually sent the potential employer an invoice for the time wasted during their interviews, and I thought that was genius. Sure, a little petty, but I don’t give a shit. So my initial thought is to send them a bill for the 3 hours of my time that they wasted. Will they pay? No. Will they even remember me? Probably not. But I don’t care. Maybe if enough of us stand up to asshole employers like this, they will stop playing with us and our emotions like we are just an NPC in a video game.
Another part of me wants to email the recruiter and thank him for passing me up. Had he not, I wouldn’t have found the current offer I have, which I am super excited about and is with an employer that truly seems to want and value me.
Obviously my parents think I should just lay down and take it (boomers), but I think our generation needs to stand up to bullies like this. I believe a movement is coming (and has already started) and I rather be on the right side of history. This sub has been a big part of me realizing that (keep it up!).
OR
Maybe I should just forget it and move on with my life. Which I am also Ok with, I guess. I don’t lose sleep over it, and like I said, I’m doing a lot better now. But still, fuck them.
Anyway, hope this is the right sub for this, if not I apologize. Please let me know what you would do or if you have dealt with something similar. Maybe there are some employers on here that can shed some light as to what the fuck happened. Maybe you have a similar story you’d like to share.
Thanks again and keep fighting the good fight!
Cheers