Background: 20 year old indian dude who majored in Psychology (pre-med) like an absolute idiot, still have a couple options- 1. become an Anesthesiologist assistant- 200k salary in low cost of living area, 2. get a masters in computer science from Upenn, 3. apply to law school and get into UT law and then work at a big law firm
I have no fucking clue how to choose between these options. I honestly am okay-ish smart, but Ive always just felt less smart than my peers and I struggle a fair amount with mental health. I have basically 0 friends because they all graduated now, but I dont care right now because im trying to figure out my career. I don't know if I should pick a job thats live to work (Lawyer) or work to live (Anesthesiologist assistant). I just feel like I know nothing about myself. I have a girlfriend who is really supportive, but shes leaving to New York in the spring to start her cool investment banking job. I feel like everything ive done for the past 4-6 years of my life has just been a blur and a waste especially because of COVID. I sometimes just feel I wish I could pinch myself and rewind 3 years ago when I was starting college and everything was amazing. It feel like my current life is just some fever dream that won't go away.
I think my first step to happiness and fulfillment is to first pick a career, pick if I want to live to work or work to live, and get a high paying job that fits my desired lifestyle. I think that will solve my basic needs and money to give to my parents, but what happens after that? Am I really just going to be working my entire life until I die? I just don't get how no one else around me isnt losing their mind over the idea of being a wage slave forever. I always wanted to be someone who became rich and some level of prestige, but I never understood how much work and sacrifice it takes when you're doing this through being an employee.
I feel like my brain is splitting apart and I am struggling to find any path to just fixing my life. I wish I was just some robot who never had feelings and who just went to law school and worked without complaining. I hate how my brain allows me to think that I deserve something special when in reality for almost everyone we will be working normal jobs forever.